


Everything is Fine

by purple_bookcover



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friendship, Multi, Poly, ashe and felix, ashelix - Freeform, ashlix, awkward romantic felix (ARF), everything is fine, friends - Freeform, no seriously everything is gonna be fine, not angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2020-12-24 22:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21106979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_bookcover/pseuds/purple_bookcover
Summary: Ashe and Felix are happy boyfriends living in a modern AU. They have jobs and friends and a nice, cozy apartment and everything is fine.No, seriously.This isn't sarcastic. Everything is fine. Like, literally, this is just fluffy modern AU in which they live pretty ordinary lives. How long will this go? I have no idea. I'm just going to write chapters when they feel relevant. I have a few planned out.If you know my other work,Knight and Squire, think of this as its opposite.





	1. Warm Like Cider and Falling Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> I'm declaring this one complete! I have other projects to work on. This was fun to do for a while but I do not plan to add to it anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Ashe wake up early on a crisp Saturday morning to go find the perfect pumpkin. Nothing bad happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Thanksgiving is a distinctly American holiday to mention, but I'm just going with it.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by a post on Twitter asking what it would look like if your OTP went on a pumpkin patch date. It was also inspired by a commenter named Panda who wanted more works in the Ashelix/Ashlix tag. I couldn't agree more! So here's some pure fluff for a rainy day. Get some tea and a cozy blanket.

"It's cold," Felix grumbled. He wrapped his blue scarf more snugly around his neck as he surveyed the pumpkin patch. 

"Isn't it great?" Ashe said. 

He tugged on Felix's hand, dragging him through a gravel parking lot. Their boots crunched on leaves and loose rock as they made their way to the entrance.

The building was picture-perfect "farmhouse." It even had big red doors thrown wide to welcome in guests. That was probably why Ashe had chosen it when he spotted it online. 

"We have to have a pumpkin," Ashe had said when he pitched the idea.

"Why?" Felix asked.

"Because it's almost Halloween," Ashe said, as though that explained why a two hour drive out of the city and into the countryside was worth waking up early on a Saturday. 

And now, here they were, stepping under the heaters above the red doors of the faux farmhouse, bundled up in gloves and scarves and boots. 

"Cider?" a middle-aged woman with curly brown hair asked when they were inside.

"Oh, yes! Please!" Ashe said, taking the little paper cup she offered. 

Felix almost had to look away as Ashe sipped the cider. His freckled cheeks were rosy from the crisp, sharp cold of the morning. Silver hair poked from the cat-eared beanie he wore. Even after years of dating, even after moving in together, even after all that time, Felix felt heat rising in his cheeks as he watched Ashe flit through the gift shop, taking an endearingly wholesome joy in every stupid trinket and bobble. 

"Wow, this one smells so good," Ashe said. He held up a candle. "Don't you think?"

Felix sniffed cautiously. "It's... nice," he said. In truth, it smelled like manufactured, generic "autumn" scent, but he wasn't going to say that to Ashe just then. 

The woman with the cider was hovering nearby. "Will you be going out into the pumpkin patch?" she asked.

"Yes, definitely," Ashe said. 

"The next hay ride leaves in 10 minutes," she said. "You might want to go find the line out back."

"Oh, we better hurry, Felix. Come on." 

Ashe took his hand and pulled him to the back of the little farmhouse and outside, where the cold rushed in to undo the hard work achieved by the heaters. Felix struggled not to grumble. Back into the cold and for what? To sit in a truck bed on scratchy hay. 

Felix sighed. Ashe was practically bouncing as they waited in line for the hay ride. God, he was adorable when he was this excited about something. 

Felix wrapped his arms around Ashe, pulling his back against his chest. He rested his head on Ashe's shoulder and closed his eyes while they waited.

Ashe reached up and scratched at Felix's hair. "Surviving?" he asked with a laugh.

"'S cold," Felix said against Ashe's shoulder. 

"It'll be worth it," Ashe said. "You'll see." 

The truck arrived and they climbed aboard. Felix sat at the edge, Ashe on one side and the edge of the truck bed on the other. A family with three small children settled down beside Ashe, who immediately started trading pumpkin carving ideas with the kids as the truck bumped along a dirt path through the pumpkin patch. 

By the time the truck finally stopped, Felix's ass hurt from the hay and Ashe had planned a damn mural worth of pumpkin carving with three random children. 

At least walking around looking at the pumpkins would be OK, Felix hoped. 

They were set loose among rows and rows of pumpkins. Felix merely watched while Ashe contemplated them, turning them over, looking for brown spots and damage, gauging their weights and the roundness? orangeness? of each. Felix had no idea by what criteria Ashe was judging the pumpkins, but he was sure there was some precise and ridiculously complicated calculation at work. 

"What do you think of this one?" Ashe said. He presented a … normal? pumpkin to Felix. Honestly, they all looked the same. Especially so early in the morning that the sun hadn't even burned the dew off the grass. 

"It's nice," Felix said. 

Ashe laughed and set the pumpkin down. He took both of Felix's hands in his. "I'm sorry for dragging you out here," he said.

"No, it's fine," Felix said. "It's... nice." Was that the only word he had left at 9 a.m. on a Saturday with no coffee? 

"You hate it," Ashe said, but he was laughing already. He leaned in to give Felix a swift kiss. "Thank you for coming with me, even though this isn't your thing." 

Felix had never really been great at hiding things from Ashe. That had been one of the first things that attracted him to the man. Ashe cut right through him, effortlessly but without heat or hatred. He saw Felix as he was and loved him anyway. 

Therefore, Felix merely shrugged. "I want you to get a pumpkin," he said. "You really want one." 

"It'll be great," Ashe said. "I promise. It'll be so great." 

Ashe's eyes were so bright and excited as he spoke, his freckles lit by a faint blush, that Felix felt himself falling in love all over again. Even after all this time. He leaned in for a longer kiss, lingering against the heat of his lover's lips. 

"I'm sure it will be," he said. 

Ashe gave him a smile, then skipped away, inspecting more pumpkins. Felix paced along behind him, not particularly interested in the pumpkins, but enjoying the peacefulness of the farm anyhow. It was kind of nice, he had to admit, walking around aimlessly in a pumpkin patch, smelling the leaves crunching beneath his feet, far from the city and his usual obligations. 

As though summoned by his thoughts, his phone buzzed. Felix pulled it from his pocket and checked the screen. _Rodrigue_

He scowled at the phone, but answered anyway. 

"Felix," his father said. "How are you?"

"Fine," Felix said. 

"Fine? Anything interesting going on?"

"No."

"OK," Rodrigue said, "well, your mother and I are getting ready for the holidays, you know. The Gautiers may come visit this year. Do you know they got a dog? Big dog. I don't see how people do it. I couldn't have a dog like that in my house."

Felix stopped listening as his father went on. Ashe noticed him on the phone and gave him a curious look, but Felix just shrugged. 

"Anyway," Rodrigue was saying, "I was wondering what your plans for the holidays were."

Plans? He had no plans. None except a couple extra days off from the gym spent cuddled up in his warm bed with Ashe. A whole day spent under the covers with some tea, a decent book, maybe a movie. A perfect holiday.

"Nothing," Felix said. 

"Nothing?" Rodrigue said. "What about Ashe's family?"

Felix wanted to reach through the phone and slap the man. How many times did he have to remind his father that Ashe had no family? The time Rodrigue had actually brought it up in person Felix could have murdered him then and there. 

This time, he realized his mistake. "Oh," Rodrigue said, "that's right. Uh, well, sorry." 

"Yeah," Felix said. 

"Well, you two could join us," Rodrigue said. "Like I said, the Gautiers are probably coming by and your aunts and uncles. Maybe even the Blaiddyds. I'm sure everyone would love to see you. It's been such a long time."

_With good reason,_ Felix thought. His family wasn't _evil_. They didn't hate him for being gay or anything like that. They were just... exhausting. Exhausting and sometimes bumbling and thoughtless and accidentally cruel in ways they didn't even realize. If Ashe saw through him, they saw _around_ him, saw a version of him they wanted to see, but never the real Felix. It was... fine. But not genuine. Not easy. Spending time with them usually left Felix weary in ways a good session at the gym never could. 

"Hey," Rodrigue said, "you still there?"

"Yeah," Felix said. "I'll see. I have to talk to Ashe."

"You said you didn't have plans."

"We'll see." 

"Well... alright," Rodrigue said. "They'd just love to see you, though. I'm sure. Think about it."

"I will."

"Alright, I'll let you go. Love you, son."

Felix hung up with a sigh. Ashe was lumbering toward him, a pumpkin nearly as wide as the man himself cradled in his arms. It was a ridiculous sight, Ashe carrying a pumpkin that had to be nearly too heavy for him with that cat ear beanie on and a huge grin across his face. It almost made Felix forget about the call. 

"You OK?" Ashe asked.

"Yeah."

"Got a call?" 

"It was just my father," Felix said. "He wants us to come by for Thanksgiving." 

"Oh," Ashe said. "Would you like that?"

"Probably not."

"Then don't." 

"I wish," Felix said. 

"I'm serious," Ashe said. "If you don't want to go, then don't."

"My aunts and uncles miss me," Felix said.

"Do they?"

Felix shrugged. "Maybe."

Ashe smiled at him in a way that melted his weak attempt at masking his true feelings. "How about this?" Ashe said. "I got a text from Annette asking if we'd be interested in Friendsgiving at her place. Let's just do that instead."

"What the hell is 'Friendsgiving?'" Felix said.

"Pretty much the same thing, just with friends instead," Ashe said. "Her family is... tough. I don't have one except for my siblings. You want to avoid yours. Instead of dealing with all that, we'll make dinner for each other and have a nice time."

"I don't know."

"I didn't bring it up sooner because I thought maybe you'd prefer to do nothing for Thanksgiving," Ashe said. "But this way, you have an excuse. Blame it on me if you want. I don't care."

"I'm not going to blame it on you," Felix said. He sighed. "Sure. Why not?"

Ashe's grin spread wider. "Good! Because I was going to go either way, but it'll be so much more fun with you there." 

Felix rolled his eyes. "Give me that damn pumpkin. How can you even carry that?"

Ashe hugged it possessively. "I've got it just fine. I'm stronger than I look." 

Oh, Felix knew that well enough. He had a delicious bruise to prove it, too. He smirked and Ashe turned bright red. 

"You're the worst!" Ashe said. "That's not what I meant."

Felix just shrugged. 

They climbed back into the truck with their absurdly huge pumpkin. Ashe chatted amiably with the children, comparing pumpkins on the way back to the farmhouse. 

Felix pulled his phone out during the ride. The shaking made it tough to text, but finally he got a message out.

To: Rodrigue

_Sorry. Have plans. Maybe next year. _

He hit send and sat back, enjoying the cold morning and the smell of hay and autumn all around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you. Everything is fine.
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover)! (WARNING: It is often explicit. Please avoid if you're a minor.)
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	2. Pumpkin Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe and Felix go to a Halloween party at Caspar and Linhardt's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @Bananly on Twitter for the inspiration on what Ashe should be cooking!

Ashe hummed to himself as he stirred the linguine. It was a tune Annette was always singing. She'd gotten it lodged in his head the other day after he'd gone to visit her and Mercie. Now, he couldn't help humming it to himself.

He was so preoccupied with the tune and the linguine that he didn't hear the door to the apartment open. He startled when he saw Felix at the entrance to the kitchen, bemused and still dressed for the gym. 

"I didn't hear you come in," Ashe said.

Felix just shrugged as he stepped to the stove and kissed Ashe. "What are you making? It smells good."

"It's a surprise," Ashe said. "A new recipe. I've never tried it before." 

"Mmm," Felix said, but he hardly seemed interested in the food when he wrapped his arms around Ashe and rested his head on his shoulder.

Ashe awkwardly set down his spatula to rub Felix's back. "Long day?"

"Boring," Felix said, his voice muffled. 

"Yeah? Not many people around?" 

Felix shook his head. 

"Did you just work out all day?" Ashe said.

A nod.

Ashe laughed. "Well, you need a shower. Hurry, it'll be done by the time you clean up."

Felix grumbled, but slouched away, already pulling off his sweaty Faerghus Fitness Co. shirt. Ashe allowed himself a moment of admiring Felix's toned back before he disappeared into their bedroom. The small apartment—just a kitchen, living room and their bedroom—offered little privacy, but that was usually to Ashe's benefit. He suspected his gym-obsessed partner didn't appreciate quite how good he looked, even in his manager's uniform, but especially without it. 

Ashe smiled, going back to his cooking. The apartment was small, but it was theirs. And, frankly, Ashe had never had something that was just his. As much as he'd loved his foster father, Ashe and his siblings had always been additions in his home rather than residents. Here, finally, Ashe had a life and home of his own. There was even a balcony where he'd coaxed some mint and simple herbs to grow. 

It was a good life, a better life than he'd ever expected, especially with Felix beside him. When Ashe had wanted to go back to culinary school Felix had picked up some extra bills without a word of complaint, but Ashe noticed the extra shifts at the gym. They both knew Felix's family could probably pay for Ashe's schooling _and_ a bigger apartment and not even break a sweat, but both of them were too proud to ask. 

Plus, it was nice, Ashe thought, living on their own, relying on each other, getting by in their own way. 

Felix was queuing up a cooking competition show when Ashe brought their dinner into the living room. He handed Felix a plate heaped with linguine, then settled beside him. 

"This week, on 'The Great Fodlan Baking Show'..."

Ashe couldn't help smiling over at Felix. He had no interest in cooking, yet ever since they'd moved in together a few months ago they'd binged the cooking shows Ashe loved as a way to relax at the end of the day. 

"Pasta?" Felix said, sniffing at his dinner.

"It's pumpkin spice linguine with vodka sauce," Ashe said. "I'm trying to figure out what to do with all that pumpkin besides just roasting the seeds." 

"You did get just about the biggest pumpkin they had," Felix said, gently teasing. 

"And I don't regret it," Ashe said. It was sitting out on their balcony right this minute, scooped out, a smiling face carved into it. 

Felix was inhaling his dinner. Gods, he must have really just worked out all day. The gym where he worked as a manager got slow around holidays and that often left Felix to give in to his borderline unhealthy habit of working out to exhaustion. 

"You like it?" Ashe said. He tried his own linguine. Not bad for a first attempt, but he could have added a bit more salt, he thought. 

Felix nodded, his mouth so full he couldn't speak. Ashe wished he could get such glowing reviews from his teachers at the culinary school, but this was a close second, especially since cooking was Ashe's way of thanking Felix for his support. 

The contestants on the cooking show were presenting their sometimes disastrous creations to a panel of judges when Ashe and Felix finished off their linguine and set their plates aside. Felix immediately laid his head in Ashe's lap and curled up on the couch. Ashe pet his hair while the cooking show contestants cried over dough that hadn't quite risen. 

Felix's hair was still bound up tight, probably to keep it from getting wet in the shower, but Ashe eased the hair tie loose. He loved those long, silky, blue-black locks. Loved the way they felt in his hands. Loved how Felix sighed contently against his thighs while he played with the hair. It was such a surprising aspect of Felix, the fact that he kept his hair this long. Ashe dared not question it, though. It had taken a year before he'd finally seen it loose at all. Ashe still took particular pride in being the only person in the world allowed to play with Felix's hair in this way. 

"Hey," Ashe said, "do you remember that party I mentioned?"

"Friendsgiving?"

"No, the one this Friday," Ashe said. "At Lin and Caspar's place."

"Mmm." Felix was practically asleep in his lap now. 

"It's a costume party."

He felt Felix go tense. 

"So, I made you a costume," Ashe said. "Well, Annette and Mercie helped. But..."

"Oh." 

"I mean, you don't have to, of course. But everyone is going to be dressed up and I knew you weren't going to pick something yourself so if you want it..."

Felix sat up, his hair spilling over his shoulder. "You made it though?"

Ashe nodded. 

Felix leaned forward to kiss him. "Then I'll wear it."

He crawled nearer, forcing Ashe to lay back on the couch as Felix perched over him. 

"You don't have to," Ashe said. "It's nothing special." Ashe couldn't resist playing with the long hair hanging over him. 

"Hm," was all Felix said before he leaned down to kiss Ashe again. 

They spoke no more about the costume.

#

"You look great," Ashe said, giving Felix's hand a squeeze. As hard as he was trying to hide it, Ashe could feel the discomfort coming off Felix in waves as they shivered outside the house.

Ashe gave the door another knock. He could hear voices within.

"Get it!" someone yelled.

"You're closer."

"But it's _far_."

"Lin, seriously? Come on." 

Finally, footsteps approached and the door opened. Linhardt, wrapped in blankets, blinked at Felix. 

"Hi!" Ashe said. "I hope we're not too early."

Linhardt just shook his head. 

"Are you a... ghost?" Ashe tried.

"I'm a blanket," Linhardt said, spreading his arms under the layers of thick blankets to better display them. "Nice costume, Felix." His eyes swept up from Felix's boots to the plastic sword at his hip. A belt cinched the tunic Ashe had sewn. 

"I made it," Ashe said. "Well, Mercie and Annette helped, but I mostly made it." 

Linhardt scanned them both. "Knights?"

"I'm his squire," Ashe said. He touched the painted symbol on his chest, the same symbol he'd painted on Felix's tunic. It was some old design he'd found online, a strange design like a spiky shield. Ashe had deemed it suitably "knightly" and put it on both their costumes. 

"It's cold," Felix said. "Can we come in already?"

Linhardt shrugged and shuffled aside, taking their coats. Ashe was grateful to step into the warmth. He could smell something baking at the back of the house Lin and Cas rented. It smelled too good to be either store bought or the work of the hosts. 

Sure enough, when Ashe and Felix worked their way to the kitchen they found Dedue crouched in front of the oven worrying over something inside it.

"Wow, what is that? It smells incredible," Ashe said, crouching beside him. 

"Pumpkin bars," Dedue said. 

"What's the frosting on the counter?"

"Cream cheese." Dedue dished out the ingredients of the recipe as though describing the weather. It was only because they'd discussed cooking and baking so often that Ashe could detect the thin thread of excitement undercutting his words.

They lingered near the oven while Dedue baked, sharing recipes. Ashe described his pumpkin spice linguine and the unfortunate quantity of pumpkin he still had left over and Dedue offered several solutions to the problem. 

It was only when the pumpkin bars were sitting on the counter cooling that Ashe finally thought to ask Dedue what he was dressed up as for Halloween. 

"Chef," Dedue said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, I thought the apron was for... you know... cooking?"

Dedue just shrugged. 

"Hey, you." Ashe turned and found Annette glaring at him, hands on her hips. She wore a pointed hat, a frilly black dress and stripped socks up past her knees. Behind her, Mercie squirmed in her cat ears and tail. "You didn't even say hi," Annette said. "Could you two stop cooking for two minutes and greet your friends maybe?"

For the first time, Ashe realized that the rest of the party had moved out of the kitchen and into the large living room of the house. Annette dragged him behind her as she wound through the party. 

He saw Dimitri (dressed as a bear, perhaps? Maybe a boar?) and Sylvain (a "competitive swimmer," probably just an excuse to wear nothing but a speedo) chatting with Felix. Caspar (the same boxer costume he'd used the previous year) poured a drink for Claude (some sort of horned elfin creature) while Ingrid (in a sweater that just said COSTUME) complimented Marianne and Hilda's matching ensembles. They weren't so much costumes as full on _looks_, complete with bright green wigs, tons of makeup and elaborate accessories. Leave it to Hilda to use Halloween as an excuse to show off, though. 

They found Cyril (a vampire) sitting alone on the couch and plopped down beside him. 

"I'll get drinks," Annette said. "Cyril, you want one?" 

Cyril nodded and Annette scurried off with Mercie in tow. 

"Knights?" Cyril said, nodding at Felix. 

"Knight and squire," Ashe said. "Well, it was supposed to be. But I'm not really that good at sewing or painting."

"It looks good," Cyril said. "I get it." 

"How's university going?" Ashe said. 

Cyril was younger than most of them and obviously a little uncomfortable at the party so Ashe sought to put him at ease with an easy subject. Ashe had always admired how hard he worked, the steadiness of his character. He could always count on Cyril to be Cyril, regardless of what else was going on. It was a refreshing sort of honesty, a trait he valued in Felix, as well. 

"It's brutal," Cyril admitted. "I have two papers I should be writing right now and I have to open at the shop tomorrow." 

"Me too," Ashe said. "The bakery has me opening all weekend." 

"Ugh," Cyril said. 

"It'll be worth it though," Ashe said. "When we're both doing what we love." Cyril was studying law, probably a way more demanding field than culinary arts, Ashe thought.

"I hope so." 

Annette returned with drinks for all of them. Ashe blinked after his first sip. Cyril coughed.

"Too strong?" Annette said. 

"Um..." Ashe said.

"You two need to _relax_," she said. "Drink up." 

More people filtered into the party. Petra dressed as Xena. Dorothea dressed as something that Ashe couldn't identify but that made Sylvain's gaze snap toward her. Ignatz and Raphael in teddy bear kigurumis. Leonie showed up the latest, decked out as an old-timey big game hunter, complete with a ridiculous, curling mustache glued to her face. 

Ashe was still on the couch with Cyril, though Annette and Mercie had drifted off somewhere else by then. The second drink Annette had brought him was making him feel warm and floaty. He realized his knee was touching Cyril's as they chatted about school and their hopes and the best herbs to plant in winter. 

"Anyway, I should get going soon," Cyril said. "Opening and everything."

"Already?" Ashe said.

"It's almost midnight."

Ashe was startled to check his phone and see Cyril was correct. 

"But, hey," Cyril said, standing, "maybe we should hang out again some time." 

Maybe it was the alcohol, but suddenly Ashe's cheeks felt too warm. "Oh," he said. "Yes, that would be great. Do you have my number?"

Cyril nodded. "I'll text you. See you around, Ashe." 

Ashe watched him leave, by far the most sober and collected person at the party, despite his youth. Cyril bid Caspar a curt goodbye, then snuck quietly out of the house. 

Ashe found himself alone on the couch. He stood, scanning for Felix. He found him with his back against a wall, arms crossed over his chest as Sylvain gestured wildly at him. Felix interrupted and even though Ashe couldn't hear what he said, he knew it probably wasn't gentle. Sylvain looked like a kid being given his favorite candy, though. He played right into Felix's sharp remarks, tugging at his tunic. Felix pushed him back with a hand, but that was probably what Sylvain had intended all along.

Ashe shook his head, laughing to himself. He'd told Felix more than once that he and his childhood friend should just hook up already and get it over with. The sexual tension was so thick it could drown the rest of the party goers. But Felix insisted over and over that it would be too weird at this point, that Sylvain had too many _feelings_, that it could never be just a hook up and therefore could never happen. Ashe was pretty certain that defense wouldn't hold forever, but he wouldn't force it either. Felix got to things in his own way and his own time. 

Ashe managed to get back to the kitchen to refill his drink. Dedue was coaxing a very drunk Dimitri into trying a pumpkin bar (probably, Ashe thought, just to put something besides booze in his stomach). 

When Ashe reemerged, there was a circle of space around Dorothea, who was dancing in the center of a group of the partygoers. She looked incredible, her movements, even while drunk, effortlessly graceful and elegant. Her hair, pulled into a high ponytail, whirled around her as she spun. Trinkets and necklaces clacked softly with her gyrations. 

The song ended and a new one began. Dorothea gasped. "Lin! Where is Lin? Someone fetch him right this instant." 

A pile of blankets in the corner of the room shifted and groaned. 

"Lin, get over here," Dorothea said. "This is our song." 

"I'm a blanket," came the sleepy reply. 

"Do not make me drag you." 

It was, in fact, Caspar who did the dragging, but eventually Linhardt emerged, his blankets left behind. What was underneath was hardly better, just sweatpants and a T-shirt. But Dorothea pulled him into the center of her dance circle regardless and started to force him to move with her. Linhardt swayed, eyes closed, but with each beat he seemed to get more into the music. Soon, incredibly, he was matching Dorothea step for step—and nearly as beautifully. They danced around each other, sometimes challenging each other's movements, sometimes complimenting them. It was like a whole 'nother language, a conversation they had with their bodies as everyone else watched. It was, Ashe had to admit, totally amazing. When had Lin learned to dance like that?

"No more watching," Dorothea declared. She pulled the people nearest her into the circle. 

Somehow, the entire living room became a dance floor. Someone turned off some of the lights and raised the music. Even Ashe found himself swept up in the moment. At one point, Dedue led him through an elegant turn. At another, Sylvain dipped him nearly to the floor. 

Finally, Felix joined him. 

By then, the party was winding down. The music had quieted somewhat. Most of the guests had left. Those who remained started seeking the warmth and comfort often needed at the end of a long and drunken night. 

Perhaps that's why Felix, usually the most reluctant dancer in the bunch, had his hands around Ashe's waist and his head on his shoulder while they swayed to some sappy pop song. Ashe did little more than rock back and forth with Felix in his arms, but still Felix stumbled when he tried to keep up. Luckily, Ashe had been drinking water for hours and could get them home. 

"Tired?" Ashe said.

Felix nodded against him. 

"Did you have fun?" 

"Yeah," Felix said. 

"Good," Ashe said. "It was a good party."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go home?"

Felix nodded. 

"OK, I'm driving, but you have to find our coats while I say goodbye."

Felix grumbled as he stood up straight. They both stopped when they parted. The few guests left at the party were all staring at them. Annette had a hand covering her mouth and was making the kind of noises she might make if she'd found a litter of baby rabbits hiding under the couch. Caspar was smirking at them while Lin slept in his lap. Even Mercie had a faint blush in her cheeks. Petra looked like she was trying not to laugh. 

Felix cleared his throat. "Our... coats..."

"Bedroom," Caspar said and Felix slinked off. 

"Will you two ever stop being so damn adorable?" Annette said. 

Ashe covered his face with his hands. "Guys, stop it. Come on." 

"The matching costumes, the dancing," Annette said. "_Ugh_. It's like you're _trying_ to make the rest of us jealous." 

Felix returned with their coats and a look that dared anyone to speak another word. 

"I'm gonna get him home," Ashe said. He bid Annette and the others goodbye, dug the car keys out of Felix's pocket and started them both toward the door. But even as he did, he couldn't quite stop the smile tugging at his lips. He wasn't _trying_ to make his friends jealous, but... well... it didn't exactly feel bad, knowing he had the most perfect boyfriend in all of Fodlan and everyone else knew it. 

Ashe made it outside, closing the door behind him. 

"Gods, they're going to make me puke," Caspar said, muffled by the door. "It's almost too sweet." 

"I know," Annette said. "Who ever thought we'd see Felix head over heels?" 

Ashe let the giddy smile spread as he helped Felix to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I reference my OWN fanfiction? You bet your sweet booties I did. Also, I'm going to give Cyril some god damn agency if it kills me. He deserved better.
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ only please)!
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	3. Hung up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest with you, nothing really happens in this chapter. Ashe goes to work. Felix stays home and gets some text messages. They eat mac 'n' cheese.

Felix groaned when the alarm chirped. He rolled over, nestling deeper into the blankets. A gust of cold air sighed around him as Ashe left the bed, taking his warmth with him. 

Felix must have fallen instantly back to sleep because the next thing he heard was Ashe approaching his side of the bed. Ashe brushed Felix's hair off his forehead to kiss it. 

"Have a good day," Ashe whispered in the dark. 

"Mmm good day," Felix mumbled. 

Ashe stroked his hair, lulling him back to sleep. "Love you," he said.

"Love you," Felix mumbled into the sheets. 

The warmth of Ashe's hand withdrew. After a few moments, Felix heard their apartment door.

Felix shivered, rolling into the sheets. What time even was it? It was still pitch dark out. It felt like they'd only gotten home from the Halloween party minutes ago and already Ashe was back out the door to open at the bakery where he worked. Felix couldn't have managed it. Even half-asleep, he felt the hangover prickling his brain and stomach. 

He rolled over and thought no more of it. The next time he woke up, sunlight pushed between the slats of the blinds. 

Felix stood in the shower, letting the water run over his face, a cup of coffee in hand. A dull headache settled behind his eyes, but the coffee and warm water were already battling back the worst of the hangover. Still, he felt a pang of sympathy imagining Ashe having to work. He couldn't fathom being at the gym just then. One nice thing about being manager—he had a conventional schedule. No more working the morning after parties. 

He heard his phone buzz as he turned off the water and reluctantly left the shower. Felix piled his hair up and tied it back, then threw on sweatpants and a sweater, both labeled "Faerghus Fitness Co." in horrible blue block letters. Whatever, it was comfortable. And warm. And that's all that really mattered.

Felix refilled his coffee before finding his phone and settling on the couch with it. Sunlight streamed in through the glass doors to the balcony. The city beyond was painted red and gold, the trees marching down Main Street shedding on parked cars and empty sidewalks in the sleepy landscape. The clear, crisp day afforded Felix a view of distant mountain peaks, purple and hazy, tipped with snow. 

Ashe's absurd pumpkin smiled out at the city with its crooked, carved grin. A sudden impulse brought Felix to his feet and sent him rummaging through a closet. It took some digging but finally—yes, there it was. 

The cold air slapped Felix's face when he stepped onto the balcony. He set a tiny black hat on the top of the pumpkin, using a couple pins to secure it against the wind four stories above the street. There, now the massive pumpkin had a little hat. That looked more complete, Felix thought. 

He shivered and rushed back inside as fall air whipped up at him. His phone buzzed again when he stepped back into the apartment and shut the door against the cold. 

"What?" he muttered at the device. Honestly, who could need to talk to him this early? He knew it wasn't Ashe, who was almost always too busy while at the bakery for texting. It could be Rodrigue, begging him again to come to family Thanksgiving. 

Felix sighed, wrapping himself in blankets before investigating his phone. 

From: Sylvain

_You made a pretty good knight. ;)_

Felix rolled his eyes. There was more.

_Sorry. Drunk texted that. Hope I didn't wake you up._

_What was the name of that bar you mentioned? Want to check it out._

_Dude, how much did I drink? Sorry if I said anything weird._

Felix sighed and tapped out a response.

_No weirder than usual._

He didn't know why he even bothered responding at this point. This dance between them had been going on since they were teenagers. Felix had obviously had no interest in girls; Sylvain had a near obsessive interest. Sylvain pushed and pushed and pushed until Felix finally snapped and said he thought he liked boys and Sylvain had mocked him mercilessly before coming to him crying and begging to still be friends. 

Even with the childish antics (mostly) behind them, it was a constant cycle with Sylvain. They'd be "bros" most of the time, childhood friends still tolerating each other out of nostalgia. Then Sylvain would get drunk enough to flirt with him, Felix would reject him out of sheer principle and there'd be a frenzy of texts just like the ones Felix was getting this morning. 

Felix knew what Ashe thought of the situation. But Felix was in no mood after this tired cycle of flirting, apologizing, running away and slinking back to also put in the work to be Sylvain's gay life coach. 

_What are you up to today? I feel like shit._

_Nothing,_ Felix replied. 

_Sounds nice. I have to go to a thing tonight. Ugh x_x_

Felix let the conversation die there. He didn't feel like coddling Sylvain. What did he want? Did he expect Felix to tell him to skip whatever event he was supposed to go to and rush over here and make good on all his empty flirting? Didn't he have a girlfriend? Or two? Or something? Felix shook his head. He was not about to volunteer to be Sylvain's tester gay, not to mention dirty secret. That shit belonged back in middle school. 

A new text appeared.

From: Ashe

_Slow day. Lots of baked goods to bring home! <3_

No, Felix thought, he didn't need to deal with Sylvain. He was doing just fine with Ashe, who had never and would never mess with his head in the ways Sylvain did. 

_Can't wait,_ Felix replied. They both knew it wasn't the sweets that Felix was waiting for though.

He snapped a photo of the pumpkin on the balcony. 

_He looked cold,_ Felix typed. 

It took a few minutes for the reply to come, but when it did Felix couldn't help laughing. 

_OMG!!!! WHAT??? It's so perfect ahhhlsdjkflsjf;lsdf_

_They're letting me leave early. I'm gonna need all the cuddles when I get home._

Felix smiled at his phone. _I'll do my best._

_I believe in you!_

Felix dug out of his cocoon of blankets reluctantly. It was chilly in the apartment. He glanced at the thermometer, but didn't touch the heat setting. Not enough hours at the gym this month to quite justify that cost. 

He rummaged through the kitchen. He probably had 30 minutes before Ashe got home from the bakery. What could he make in that time? What could he make at all? 

He frowned at the pantry full of ingredients for Ashe's baking. He couldn't even name some of them. Black treacle? What was that even for?

Felix tried a different cabinet. Bread. Peanut butter. The Cliffside Bars Felix ate when he couldn't be bothered to try any harder than peeling off a wrapper. 

OK, no help there either. 

Finally, he found some fancy mac 'n' cheese in the pantry. "Real cheese," it boasted, though Felix doubted that claim.

Still, he started some water boiling and even chopped up some vegetables to go with it. By the time Ashe got home, Felix was stirring the cheese powder into the pot to coat the noodles.

"Hungry?" Felix said when Ashe entered the kitchen.

"You're making me food?" Ashe had an adorable puff of flour on the tip of his nose. Felix almost abandoned his cooking to go kiss it.

"It's just mac 'n' cheese," Felix said. 

Ashe beamed as though Felix had described a gourmet meal in a four-star restaurant. "There's broccoli! Oh, I can't wait." He kissed Felix. "Oops, sorry, flour." He wiped at the flour he'd deposited on Felix's nose. 

"Go sit," Felix said. 

Ashe bounced away. A few moments later, Felix heard the balcony door sliding open. 

"It's perfect!" Ashe squealed. "Annette needs to see it." 

Felix saw him taking photos of the pumpkin, now wearing a hat, as he brought the bowls of mac 'n' cheese into the living room. 

They settled on the couch, piling blankets on their laps. Ashe hummed to himself as he took his first few bites of mac 'n' cheese.

"I'm so hungry," Ashe said. "I almost missed my alarm this morning so I didn't have time to eat. And then there was no one at the bakery. I swear we had, like, three customers all day."

"It _is_ the day after Halloween."

"I know," Ashe said. "It's so dumb that they even made me come open at all." 

"Well, now you get to relax."

"Mmm," Ashe said. "How was your day?"

Felix shrugged. 

Mischief curled Ashe's smile. "Any messages?"

Felix stifled a groan. Ashe knew exactly what Sylvain was like at this point. Of course he'd guessed it.

"The usual," Felix grumbled.

Ashe laughed. "Be nice to him," he said. "He's just working through his... _feelings_." 

Felix knew Ashe was just teasing him but it still made his stomach sink. "He should work through them alone." 

"Might be quicker if you helped." 

Ashe was actually _smirking_ at him now. 

"You do it then," Felix said. "I'm not babying him through his internal conflicts or whatever." 

Felix expected a retort, but it never came. A faint blush highlighted Ashe's freckles.

"Unless," Felix said, "you have your own project?"

The blush deepened. "I wouldn't say that." 

Felix set his empty bowl aside. Ashe sighed as he did the same. Felix merely watched him, waiting, knowing Ashe couldn't survive his gaze for long. 

"OK," Ashe said, "but really, it's nothing. I've just been chatting with Cyril a bit."

"Oh?" That was a new one. Cyril was a bit of an outlier in their group of friends. Around, but rarely at the center of anything. 

"We talked at the party," Ashe said. He was staring at his hands and fidgeting with the edge of a blanket. 

"And?"

Ashe shrugged helplessly. "We might go get a drink sometime. Nothing serious. Just as friends. He's interesting. And smart. And...."

"And you want to spend more time with him," Felix said. 

Ashe nodded, his face now rivaling tomatoes. 

Felix pulled him into a hug to ease his embarrassment. "I think that sounds nice," he said. "When?"

Ashe buried his face against Felix's chest. "I don't know. We're just talking."

"Well, don't talk forever. Choose a time before you both get too busy."

"I know, I know," Ashe said. "It's just been a really long time since I did anything like that with anyone but you."

Felix kissed the top of his head. "Just go for it," he said. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Oh goddess, I hope so. I think... I like him." 

Felix couldn't help smiling. Ashe was so endearing when he liked anything—people, pumpkins, food, anything at all. 

"It'll work out," Felix said. "And if it doesn't, I'll--"

"Don't yell at him."

"I was going to say 'make you feel better,' but sure." Felix's phone vibrated on the coffee table. "I can give you the apartment for a night if you need."

He could feel the wave of heat slough off Ashe. "Oh goddess, we definitely haven't gotten that far. I don't even know if he likes me like that. It's just friendly."

"I'm just saying," Felix said, "if something changes." 

"I don't want to kick you out of your own house."

Felix shrugged, still holding Ashe close. "It's your house too. I can figure something out." 

Ashe leaned away to look up at him, his eyes as wide and sweet and innocent as the day they'd met. "I'm sure Sylvain would let you stay over."

Felix nearly choked. "Goddess save me." 

Ashe laughed and tackled him down on the couch. They cuddled up together, a heap of blankets and sweaters and limbs. 

Quietly, so quietly Felix nearly missed it, Ashe muttered, "I'm just saying... if something changes." 

As though in response, Felix's phone vibrated yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to have an inability NOT to fuck with Sylvain. This one isn't supposed to be about Sylvain. Fucking go away, Sylvain. Also, writing about food is so hard. I don't know a single thing about cooking. 
> 
> I'm happy to take suggestions and requests on this fic. I want to do a couple things with it, but aside from that, if there's anything you think would be fun or interesting, or just really want to see, then let me know and I can probably work it in. This one is just for fun. 
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	4. Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe goes on a date with Cyril. Except it's totally not a date. Just friends. Just mens bein frens. It's totally casual. Definitely.

Ashe straightened the tie, examining himself in the mirror. Too formal? Probably too formal. He slipped it off. Still too much. He tried unbuttoning the top of his plaid shirt, rolling up the cuffs, unrolling them, tucking the shirt in, untucking. 

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

He threw the button up aside, digging around for a T-shirt. A good third of them said "Faerghus Fitness Co." Finally, Ashe found a plain blue shirt with a cartoon lion on it. He shrugged into it and checked himself in the mirror. 

Too informal now? He tucked his hair behind his ear. And what was he going to do with that mess? He usually just tucked it away and forgot about it. It wasn't long and beautiful like Felix's hair. It resisted all styling more complicated than a decent brushing. 

His phone vibrated.

From: Felix

_Whatever you're wearing is fine. Go._

Ashe rolled his eyes, but smiled, setting the phone aside. What hoodie to put over the T-shirt? It was a cold, crisp day and the sun was dipping low. Should he wear a hat? But what if he had to take it off and his hair was a mess underneath? 

The phone rattled again.

_GO_

"OK, OK, geeze," Ashe muttered. He threw on a plain black hoodie, his cat-ear beanie and a striped scarf. Looking at the cold city outside the glass doors, he added a heavier coat on top. Ashe snapped a quick selfie in the bathroom mirror, sending it to Felix. _Are you happy now? I look like I'm going to get groceries._

The reply came a moment later. _Cute_

_You always think I'm cute,_ Ashe replied.

_Touche_

Felix wasn't playing into his jabs. They both knew Ashe was just stalling. He huffed out a sigh, shoved his keys, phone and wallet into his jacket pockets and started toward the door. Even though Felix was at work, Ashe could hear him chiding him to stop delaying and get going, but Ashe hesitated at the door of their apartment as a flutter of nerves tickled his stomach. 

It was ridiculous, he knew. This wasn't even a _date_ date. Just a drink between friends. Easy. Simple. And even if it was a date (which it definitely wasn't), what's the worst that could happen? He could always come home to Felix if it really went that poorly. 

So, then, why was his stomach doing back flips as he opened the door? 

He could hear Felix telling him to just fucking go already. Ashe took a steadying breath. "Fine," he told himself. "Everything is fine." He stepped out into the hall.

#

Noise and warmth rolled out of the bar when Ashe pulled the heavy wooden door open. He smelled spilled beer and stale pretzels. Everything past the door was also wood—wooden bar stools before a wooden bar, wooden tables with wooden booths, even a wooden display cabinet for whiskey and bourbon. 

He blinked. Half the patrons in the bar were in suits and ties and looked like they'd come straight from some sort of office job. Five different sports events played on televisions mounted on the walls. There was only a faint sound of music and if Ashe had to guess he'd say it was probably classic rock from before he was even born.

It was just about the straightest place he'd ever set foot in.

Ashe's stomach sank. He felt the blood drain out of his face. His beanie had cat ears. He didn't usually go around worrying about whether he looked "gay" or not, but in a place like this he couldn't help but stick out. A few patrons gave him surreptitious glances before hunkering back over their drinks. 

Did he have the location wrong? But he was sure this was the bar Cyril had recommended. 

"Can I help you?" a waitress said.

Ashe struggled not to jump. "Oh, um, I think I'm meeting someone here." 

"You wanna wait at the bar or..."

Ashe opened his mouth, but had no idea what to say. Blessedly, that was when Cyril approached, waving. 

"Ah, that's my friend there," Ashe said. 

The waitress looked nearly as relieved as Ashe himself. 

"Hey," Cyril said, leading him to two stools at the bar. "Sorry. I didn't see you come in." 

Ashe slid onto one of the stools, immensely relieved. He took off his coat and hung it on a hook under the bar. Reluctantly, he removed the beanie as well, stuffing it in a pocket. Hopefully he'd draw less attention that way. "It's OK," he said. 

Cyril had a tall, clear glass of beer before him. "You want something?" he asked. 

"I don't really... drink beer..." Ashe said, his stomach sinking even lower somehow. 

"They have other stuff," Cyril said. He waved the bartender over. "Get whatever you like. First one's on me." 

"Um..." Ashe floundered, wishing he had more than a moment to decide. He remembered the whiskey cabinet. "Do you do... like... a whiskey sour?" 

The bartender nodded. "What kind of whiskey?" 

Ashe thought he might just die. What kind? What _kind?_ Oh goddess, he'd never even thought about there being multiple kinds. As much as he knew about cooking, he knew that little about alcohol.

"Your well is fine," Cyril stepped in.

The bartender retreated.

"Hey, you OK?" Cyril said. 

Ashe nodded. He couldn't wait for that drink to arrive, though.

"Sorry, I didn't really think too hard about the location," Cyril said. "I come here sometimes. A lot of the other law students and lawyers and stuff in the area do too. It's just the most convenient place. Cheap drinks. No one asking you to get them out of a traffic ticket for free."

"It seems nice," Ashe said, hoping he sounded sincere. "Where is your school?"

"A few blocks down," Cyril said.

"Do you live there?"

"No, I share a house with a few other people about a mile or so from here. They're not the greatest roommates in the world. Everywhere except my room is pretty disgusting. I just know I'm going to find dishes all over the kitchen the moment I get home." 

Ashe marveled again at how much Cyril was doing all on his own. He had to be 21? 22? Like Ashe he had no family to help, but he was putting himself through law school anyway. 

The whiskey arrived. Ashe sipped it delicately and struggled not to wince. He wasn't sure the bartender had really heeded the "sour" part all that well. 

"They pour a little strong here," Cyril said. "I'm sorry. Do you hate this place? Next time we can go somewhere else."

Next time. Ashe almost didn't mind the bitter drink and wood-paneled hetero-masculinity all around him at that. "Oh no," he said. "It's great. Really. I just don't drink that often."

"I didn't used to," Cyril said. "But law school will do that to you." He lifted his beer for a toast and Ashe clinked his glass against Cyril's. 

The whiskey burned its way down Ashe's throat. A pleasant warmth spread through his body alongside it. The longer they chatted and drank, the less Ashe minded the taste of the alcohol. It made him feel cozy and light. He forgot about all the stale wood paneling and wood benches and wood doors around him. Forgot about the serious business people in suits and the grimacing waitress and the smell of spilled beer. 

Cyril really was a fascinating person. Ashe encouraged him to talk more about his schooling. 

"Why did you get into law anyway?" Ashe said. 

Cyril thought for a moment. Ashe's head swam a little. Cyril looked so wise and thoughtful as he carefully mused over the question. He was deliberate and frank in a way that made Ashe want to lean closer so he didn't miss a single word. 

"I know what you're thinking," Cyril started. Ashe suspected Cyril had no idea what he was thinking, because as he went on, he said, "Lawyers are just blood suckers, right? Ambulance chasers. All that. But that's just one side of the law. I'm interested in the other side."

"The other side?"

"It's not as glamorous, maybe," Cyril said. "There's certainly less money in it. But the rest of us need protection from those blood suckers, right? Everyone deserves a defense."

"Everyone?" Ashe said. "What if they did something really bad though?"

"That's just the thing," Cyril said. He leaned forward. Cyril's knees were practically touching Ashe's now, but he was apparently too excited to notice. "Do you remember that terrorist attack like 20 years ago?"

Ashe nodded. Everyone remembered, even if they were only children. A monastery attacked by extremists who hated the church. Hundreds dead. It was so gruesome that the whole country still paused to remember it on the anniversary.

"Even those assholes got a defense," Cyril said.

"But why?" Ashe said. "Why bother? They admitted they were guilty."

"Because otherwise the whole thing is a sham, right? Otherwise we're just chucking people into this system and letting the system grind them up and do whatever it wants with them. And it's not always terrorists. Sometimes it's a guy who ran a red light, or someone with an addiction, or a woman stealing just to eat. Are they wrong? Yes. Did they break the law? Sure. But don't they deserve a defense?" 

"Of course," Ashe said. "But how does that relate to the terrorist?"

"You can't do it half way," Cyril said. "If everyone gets a defense then that means everyone, not just folks you feel sympathy for. The terrorist gets a lawyer so the guy who ran a red light driving his kid to the hospital can have a lawyer later down the line." 

Ashe blinked back a sudden swell of emotion. It didn't feel like that long ago that he'd been the one stealing, getting hauled off to juvenile courts so often they knew him by name. But he'd had no choice if he and his siblings were going to survive. 

"That's what I want to do," Cyril said. "I want to get people out of the system. I want to break the mechanisms that keep people trapped in this cycle of going to court, wracking up fines, doing something illegal to pay the fines and winding up right back in front of the same judge who now has a grudge against them. I know I can't help everyone who needs it, but at least I can stand on the right side of the fight." 

Ashe gulped down more whiskey to hide his reaction. If someone like Cyril hadn't taken pity on him when he was younger, he wouldn't be sitting here now. If someone hadn't paid his fines and gotten _him_ out, he'd still be in that cycle, most likely. Living with Felix, going to culinary school, working at the bakery—all of that so easily could have been taken away. 

"I'm sorry," Cyril said. "I went on a tangent. I didn't mean to bore you."

He sat back, but Ashe caught his wrist. "No," he said, "I'm really interested. I ... I understand completely. I think what you're doing is incredible." 

But Cyril suddenly looked pained. "Oh goddess, I totally forgot. Ashe, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring all that stuff in your past up."

"Please, don't, Cyril. Really. It's fascinating to hear you describe it that way. I really admire you." 

Was that a blush lighting Cyril's deep bronze skin? It made his face even more lovely. 

Ashe hastily released Cyril's wrist, feeling his own face get hot. 

"Well, I appreciate it," Cyril said. "But what about you? How's your schooling going?"

Ashe struggled to think of how to even describe culinary school after that. It felt so small and selfish. But as he talked, Cyril's eyes never left his face. He listened intently as Ashe described the latest technique he was trying to master. Soon, Ashe forgot his embarrassment. 

"That sounds incredible," Cyril said. "I wish I could cook. I mostly eat frozen meals these days. It's probably awful." 

"I'd be happy to cook for you sometime," Ashe said. His eyes went wide as he realized what he'd just blurted out. "I mean ... if you want. No pressure."

"I couldn't ask you do that," Cyril said.

"Sure you could," Ashe said. "I have to test things at home anyway and Felix eats like a bird. We always have tons of leftovers."

Cyril laughed. "I bet he does. Doesn't seem like a guy with much of an appetite, and I barely even know him." 

"I think if he wasn't always working out at the gym he just wouldn't eat at all," Ashe said. "So I'd love to have another taste tester." 

"Sign me up," Cyril said. 

His second glass of whiskey had made Ashe bolder. "If you want to come by some day, our place isn't that far from here. Just take the 7 down a few stops and it's like a block from the bus stop." 

Cyril smiled in a way that made Ashe's chest feel tight. "That sounds like it would be nice." 

"O—OK, great, um, maybe..."

"We'll figure it out when we're both a bit more sober," Cyril said. "Speaking of which, can I walk you to your bus?"

Ashe found himself feeling a little sad when he realized how late it was and that he should be heading home, but he nodded. He felt far less self-conscious this time as he donned his coat and beanie. He and Cyril stepped out into the sharp night air, both shivering and huddling deeper in their jackets as they walked side by side. They chatted about nothing in particular and Ashe found his mind wandering, found himself wishing he could press a little closer to Cyril to share warmth. 

The bus stop arrived all too quickly. They paused beneath a sign that said "Route 7." 

"Well," Cyril said, "thanks again for coming out here."

"Oh, sure," Ashe said. "It was really nice."

"Really? You didn't hate that bar? I swear I'll choose a better one next time."

"No, no, it was great, honestly. Not too loud. It was nice not to have to scream." 

Cyril shuffled his feet and smiled. "Well ... good. I guess, uh ... Oh, your bus."

Ashe saw the bus lumber around the corner. He had only seconds before it would reach the stop and open its doors. Should he try for it? Should he step closer, see how Cyril reacted? But what if he recoiled? What if this really was just friends getting a drink? They hadn't had anything remotely like a romantic conversation all night. The only time they'd touched was when Ashe had grabbed Cyril's wrist. 

But Cyril was watching him now, his lips slightly parted. Ashe wanted so badly to step closer to that warm mouth, but his feet were rooted in place. What if he was wrong? What if he was jumping to conclusions? What if Cyril hated him for assuming he was gay and then never wanted to see him again? 

The doors hissed open.

"Route 7, serving North Street, Main Street, Blue Lions Boulevard..."

"That's your bus," Cyril said.

Ashe shook himself. "I ... Yeah..." He backed away toward the open doors. "Thanks, Cyril."

"See ya around, Ashe." Cyril offered a wave, a friendly wave, and Ashe knew the moment had truly passed. 

The doors of the bus shushed closed behind him. Ashe swiped his commuter card and choose a seat beside a window. Cyril waved at him from the street as the bus pulled away. Ashe waved back, feeling warm and cold all at once as the bus rumbled toward home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cyril will have agency and character development or I will DIE TRYING.
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	5. Friendsgiving (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the holiday season and Ashe and Felix are going to a cozy gathering at Annette and Mercie's place. Along the way, we'll learn how they first met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so these next two chapters are a bit longer than usual, but I wanted to get in Ashe and Felix's first meeting/first date stories. This seemed like the right chapters for it. You'll get half through Felix's eyes and half through Ashe's. 
> 
> CW: Family trouble? Bad parenting? Etc. I know this is supposed to be the fluffy fic but characters still need motivations.

Felix scowled at the rows of bottles. Nuvelle grapes. Aged in Aegir. Finest Almyran stock. What the hell did any of that mean? 

He heard Ashe approach behind him. "Find one?" 

Felix just sighed.

Ashe looped an arm through Felix's. "Let me help. Hm, well, there's that one." He pointed at a bottle of something bright pink stamped with a label with cherries on it. 

"Is it good?" Felix said.

"No clue," Ashe said. "But it looks pretty and it says it's sweet so Annette will probably love it." 

"Is it supposed to be sweet?" Felix grimaced.

Ashe released him, grabbing the pink bottle and a second one that was plain and yellow-ish and had only words on the label. "How about this one for Annette," he said, "and this one for you?" 

Felix took the bottles by their necks, frowning at them. 

"You've had that one before," Ashe said. "You didn't hate it." 

"If you say so," Felix said. 

He trailed Ashe through the supermarket, holding the bottles while Ashe pondered the baking aisle.

"Aren't you already bringing like 300 cookies?" Felix said while Ashe searched for ingredients. 

"Well, yeah, but..." Ashe dug through the shelves. "Oh, this one is nice." 

They ended up leaving with a bag of ingredients along with the bottles of wine. Felix suspected he'd see little of Ashe once they got to Annette and Mercedes' place. He considered complaining, trying to get Ashe to actually hang out instead of just cook for everyone, but knew it'd be a losing and pointless battle. Besides, it made Ashe happy. 

"I wonder if Dedue is going to cook," Ashe mused as Felix drove. 

It was a gorgeous Saturday, the kind of day during Red Wolf Moon that fooled you into believing winter had abated. The sun flooded the city as Felix shuffled through traffic. Red and gold leaves clung tenaciously to the trees lining the city roadways. As they wound farther from the heart of the city and toward the outskirts, the trees became more numerous. Leaves carpeted a side street when they pulled into a neighborhood of skinny, older homes. Many houses had autumn wreaths on the doors and sagging pumpkins on the porches. 

"Hey," Felix said, "you never told me how your date with Cyril went a couple weeks ago."

He could practically feel Ashe blush beside him. "Oh, it wasn't a date. I mean, we never called it that."

"So?"

"So... it went well, I think."

"Good," Felix said. "What did you end up doing?"

"Just chatting. We went to this weird bar and everything was made of wood and I had the worst whiskey I've ever tasted," Ashe said. "But… Cyril was really cool." 

"I'm glad," Felix said. "Are you seeing him again?"

"I, uh, I don't know," Ashe said. "We talked about me cooking something for him, but I didn't follow up and now it's been a couple weeks and..."

"Set it up," Felix said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not? Give me a date. I'll go somewhere."

"Oh goddess, you don't need to do that. I'm not expecting anything."

"Ashe," Felix interrupted. "I'm not saying anything's going to happen. I'm just saying I'll give you some space. All your ingredients and equipment are at our place anyway. You should cook at home."

Felix pulled up to a curb and turned off the car. Ashe was watching him anxiously, his green eyes large under his eyelashes. It was a look that made Felix want to grab him by the collar and forget all about the party. 

"Really?" Ashe said. "I feel so bad asking you to do that."

"You didn't ask," Felix said. "I offered." 

Ashe smiled and Felix couldn't resist. He leaned in, giving his partner a gentle kiss. 

"Thank you," Ashe said. "You're the best." 

Felix just smiled in response, rubbing his thumb on Ashe's cheek. "Just doing my job," he said. 

"Well, you're good at it," Ashe said. He chewed at his lip and Felix nearly started the car and raced home then and there. 

It was therefore a good thing that Annette chose that moment to bang on the passenger side window. 

"Stop making out and come to my party, idiots," she yelled through the glass. 

Felix sighed, but Ashe laughed. He practically leapt out of the car and into Annette's arms. The pair were instantly deep in some conversation. Felix retrieved the groceries from the back seat and followed in their boisterous wake as they skipped arm-in-arm up the paved walkway to a short little house with a full garden and blue siding. 

The floors creaked when they stepped inside the home Annette and Mercedes rented. It was old, clearly in need of repair and well outside the city, but that made it affordable. The hall where Felix kicked off his shoes was narrow. It branched off to a living room where mismatched couches covered in blankets and pillows snuggled around a coffee table messy with papers. 

"...and I think I'll also make a little something," Ashe was saying. He finally looked back and found Felix with the grocery bag. "I've got a bunch of ingredients. And Felix brought that wine you like."

"OK, yes to the wine," Annette said, "but no to you hiding in the kitchen cooking all day."

"It's Thanksgiving," Ashe said. "I've got to cook something." 

Annette huffed a dramatic sigh. "_Fine._ But I swear, if I don't see you or Dedue the whole day because you're back there cooking I'm going to drag you both out by the hair." 

"Is Dedue here yet?" Ashe said, clearly excited. 

"Nope, your kingdom awaits." Annette swept an arm toward the kitchen and Ashe scurried off with the grocery bag. Annette put her hands on her hips and heaved another sigh. "We aren't going to see him the rest of the night."

"Maybe," Felix said with a shrug.

"You want wine?" Annette said. 

"Sure. But, uh, the less sweet one." 

"I've got you. Sit." Annette waved at the couch and hurried off.

Felix settled alone in the living room. The pillows and blankets threatened to swallow him as he sank into the cushions. They were clearly early. Not that it mattered. Ashe and Annette had always given each other keys to the others' homes. They were as inseparable as siblings. 

Speaking of which … Felix checked his phone while he was alone. _Still good?_ he texted.

He got a thumbs up reply but nothing else. Kids. Well, he'd just have to hope that meant what he assumed it did. 

"Here you go." Annette offered him a glass of the pale yellow wine.

He accepted and she sat across from him, sipping her crazy pink concoction. She hummed as she drank. "Oh it's so good. I added lemonade." 

How she could add more sugar to a sugary drink was beyond Felix, so he took a sip of his own wine rather than responding. It was bitter and dry and not half-bad for cheap crap from the grocery store. 

"So," Annette said, "what have you do been up to besides making out in front of my house?" 

Felix rolled his eyes. "The usual." 

She lowered her voice, leaning closer. "Does Ashe know? About today?"

Felix gave a little shake. Annette winked. "Gotcha. Secret's still safe with me." 

The doorbell chimed and Annette jumped up. A few seconds later, Felix heard Sylvain's distinct voice loudly offering more booze to the collection. They'd all be drinking more than eating, at this rate. 

"Felix," Sylvain said, bounding into the living room and plopping down beside him. His arm was instantly around Felix's shoulders. "Where's your better half?"

"Cooking." 

"Always hard at work," Sylvain said. "What about you, Annette?" 

"Mercie ran to the store. She'll be back in a minute." 

Dedue and Dimitri appeared before Mercedes made it back, Dedue disappearing into the kitchen just as swiftly as Ashe had. Felix heard them conferring for a moment before Sylvain and Dimitri drowned them out. 

Soon after, Mercedes returned. Ingrid arrived last, grumbling about traffic and requesting wine immediately. 

"I feel like I should help them," Mercedes said as everyone but Ashe and Dedue drank and chatted on the couches. 

"Leave them," Sylvain said. "They're happy as puppies in a puddle in there. We'd only get in the way." 

Mercedes looked to Felix though, her expression worried. "I don't want to take advantage..."

"It's fine," Felix said.

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes," Felix said, "but I'll check."

Mercedes looked relieved when Felix rose and headed toward the kitchen. (Sylvain looked disappointed, but that was a problem for another time.) 

Felix found Ashe mixing something in a bowl while Dedue crouched to peer at the oven. Felix slipped behind Ashe, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

"Oh goddess, I didn't hear you come in," Ashe said, pausing his mixing. 

Felix nestled against Ashe's shoulder. "They think you're working too hard." 

Ashe laughed. "We've hardly even started."

"They should not be concerned," Dedue said. 

Felix eased away from Ashe. "That's what I told them, but..." He shrugged. 

"Inform them that everything is under control," Dedue said.

"Yeah, we've got everything we need," Ashe said. "It's going to be great. Mercedes had these fresh sweet potatoes and I think we can make a really good mash with them. There's even marshmallows to put on top."

It sounded revolting. Why would a potato need to be sweet? But Felix simply said, "I'll tell them not to worry. They think they're taking advantage of you."

Ashe laughed. Dedue raised an eyebrow.

"Do they believe we'd cook if we did not wish to?" Dedue said. 

Felix shrugged. 

Ashe poured more wine in Felix's glass. "Go sit and drink and wait. And tell them it's no bother at all. Shoo. We're busy." 

Felix stole a quick kiss, but said, "Fine" and left the kitchen. 

He sat beside Annette instead of Sylvain this time. "They say they're fine," Felix said.

"See?" Annette said. "I know Ashe. He's happy as can be. Relax, Mercie." 

Mercedes fidgeted with her wine glass but did not object. 

The group lapsed into conversation. It wasn't often all of them were together again like this. They'd become a close-knit group, gathering over time. It had started with Dimitri, Sylvain, Felix and Ingrid, who'd grown up together. Dimitri and Dedue met on their high school football team and became inseparable every moment since. It was Sylvain, surprisingly, who recruited Annette, who swiftly rejected his advances but not his friendship. Mercedes, of course, went wherever Annette did, the two having gone to school together. 

And that just left Ashe. 

Seemingly the outsider, Ashe was as inextricably a part of their group as any of the others. Felix's phone vibrated in his pocket, reminding him of the thread that bound them all. Because they were all here, weren't they? They were all here creating their own family today, their "Friendsgiving" family, instead of being with relatives. If they even had relatives. They had no choice, the lot of them. They'd all been forced to create a family, in one way or another, and so here they were. Together. A weird, insane, misshapen family of their own choosing.

"How did you two meet, anyway?" Annette was saying. 

Felix blinked, not realizing he'd tuned out the conversation. 

"You and Ashe," Annette said. "How did that happen?" 

Felix hesitated. Sylvain knew the story, of course, but now that he thought about it, none of the others did. Linhardt and Caspar had been privy to most of it, but they were with Caspar's family today. 

"It's boring," Felix said. 

"What? No it's not," Sylvain said.

"You already know it," Felix said. "It's..." 

"Come on," Sylvain said. "The people demand a story." 

"I am curious," Dimitri said. He rested his hand on his fist, smirking. Felix wanted to smack the smile off his face. They were "family," sure, but Dimitri and Sylvain in particular seemed to relish grating at Felix's nerves.

Annette started clapping her hands and singing, "Story, story, story." 

"Fine," Felix snapped. He huffed. "It's not even that interesting, but..."

#

Felix grimaced at the papers spread across the kitchen table. 

"We'd like to congratulate you..." "We are pleased to inform you..." "We're happy to welcome you..."

His stomach sank. Not one rejection. Not even gods damned one. 

The door opened behind him and Felix scrambled to gather up the papers. Too late. Rodrigue strode into the kitchen, setting a briefcase on the floor. 

"What's that?" his father said.

"Nothing," Felix said, crumpling some of the letters as he tried to bundle them up. 

Rodrigue approached the table. "Felix." His tone was a warning. 

"It's nothing," Felix snapped. 

Rodrigue snatched one of the papers, ripping it from Felix's grasp. His eyes darted as he read the acceptance letter. "Felix, this is wonderful."

Felix did not respond, but his hands tightened around the rest of the letters.

Rodrigue's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "All the rest. They're all 'yeses.'" 

Felix ground his teeth, refusing to meet his father's eyes. 

"Felix, tell me the truth. They're all acceptance letters, aren't they?" Rodrigue sighed. "Why are you being so stubborn about this? Just show them to me."

"No," Felix said. 

"Why?" Rodrigue's voice rose. "What is your problem? This is good news."

"For you," Felix muttered.

"What?"

"For you it is," Felix said, shouting now. He finally met his father's glare. "I didn't ask for any of this." He tossed the papers up, letting them scatter through the kitchen. 

"What the _fuck_, Felix? Why are you being a child? You got into some of the best schools in Fodlan. Your future is set up for you. Don't be selfish."

"Maybe I don't want to go." 

The statement fell like a hammer. Rodrigue went silent, his face getting even more pale than it was already. "What?" 

It was too late, though. The thought had been voiced. Felix had to follow through. "Did you ever ask if I wanted this? Did you ever stop and ask?" 

"Anyone else would kill for this. Do you have any idea at all how lucky you are? You don't even need to go into debt to go to school. You're really going to throw that away?"

"Go to school for _what_? I never wanted this. I never wanted to go. I didn't even fill out half these applications. _You_ did." 

"You ungrateful--"

"I'm not Glenn." Felix was yelling at the top of his voice now, his cheeks hot. 

His father's lips vanished as he pressed them into an angry line. "Excuse me?" 

"I'm not Glenn," Felix said. "This is his life, not mine. I can't just go to school for business or something and replace him for you. I don't want any of that shit." 

"Oh," Rodrigue said. "So what's your brilliant plan instead? Hm? Where will you go? What will you do? How will you have money?"

"I have a job."

Rodrigue's laugh was short, harsh and bitter. "The gym? That's your plan? You're going to throw this all away and work at a _gym_?"

"I like it." 

"You _like_ it? Merciful goddess, Felix, that's not a career. That's not a future."

"They're making me a manager."

"_Of a gods damned gym._ What kind of life is that? You have all the potential in the world and you're going to be a _manager at a gym_?" 

"I'm done." Felix spoke quietly this time. He turned on his heel, striding away as Rodrigue shouted after him. But Felix didn't listen. The barrage continued as he ran up to his room and started packing. By the time Rodrigue caught up to him, Felix had a duffle bag over one shoulder and a backpack on the other.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Rodrigue shouted. 

Felix did not answer. He stormed out of his father's house, slamming the door behind him as he went.

#

It took several deep breaths and about 20 minutes of pacing outside before Felix finally knocked on the door. A man he didn't recognize answered. 

"Is Sylvain here?" Felix muttered miserably. 

"Hold on." The man disappeared. A minute later, Sylvain bounded down the hall.

"Felix," he chirped. "What's up, man? How are… Oh. Hey. Everything OK?"

Felix let out a long, withering breath. "Sort of." 

Sylvain ushered him into the home he shared with five other men. It was cramped, smelly and absolutely disgusting, but it wasn't Rodrigue's, so Felix sank gratefully onto Sylvain's bed when his friend showed him into his room. He explained the letters and the fight, but omitted the hours he'd spent driving around before finally resolving to ask for help. 

"Stay here as long as you need, dude," Sylvain said. "We'll find some couch cushions or something and make you a bed."

"Thanks," Felix muttered. 

"It's bad this time, huh?" Sylvain said. He was no stranger to Felix and Rodrigue's frequent fights. 

Felix nodded. 

"Think it'll blow over?" 

"Not this time," Felix said. "I don't want to go back." 

Sylvain put an arm around his shoulders. "Then don't. You can stay here as long as you need to." 

"I'll pay you rent or something."

"Don't worry about it. You're not the type to take advantage."

Felix stared at his hands for a long time, fidgeting with the strap of the duffle bag. "I told him I won't replace Glenn for him." 

"Felix..." Sylvain hugged him tighter to his side. "I'm sorry, man. We'll figure this out. You don't need to put up with that shit." 

"Thanks..."

"I'm gonna go tear up the couch. You need sleep." 

Sylvain left and Felix had a long, horrible moment of realizing he was well and truly fucked, out on his own with his father fully pissed at him. It didn't matter. He'd die before he'd go back and beg Rodrigue for forgiveness, playing the role his dead brother was meant to fill. Even sleeping on couch cushions in Sylvain's gross apartment was better than that. 

Felix kept a low profile the first week, working extra hours, slinking into Sylvain's place mostly just to sleep. Sylvain kept insisting it was no problem, but Felix's pride didn't allow him to accept more than a floor to sleep on. He spent every free moment trying to figure out a new place to live. Thankfully, the gym was willing to up his hours, affording him a bigger budget. But Faerghus Fitness Co. was located downtown and living in the city was no cheap prospect. 

Felix sighed, flicking up the list of increasingly expensive apartments displayed on his phone. He cringed when Sylvain entered the bedroom, wishing he'd pretended to go to sleep. It was getting harder and harder to face his friend and admit he still didn't know where he'd be living next month. 

"You like hot chocolate?" Sylvain said, offering him a mug. 

"Not really," Felix said, but he accepted the cup. 

Felix could feel Sylvain watching him from the bed. _He's gonna ask me to leave. I can't even blame him. I'm a free loader._

"So there's a party on Friday."

"Huh?" Felix said.

"I met these guys at school," Sylvain said. "They're pretty cool. They're having a house party on Friday."

"Oh." Felix wasn't sure what else to say about it. He knew Sylvain was finishing up a degree at a local university. It only seemed natural that the extroverted red-head had attracted friends and party invites during his studies. 

"I think you should come," Sylvain said. 

Felix gripped the mug of hot chocolate. 

"It'll be good for you," Sylvain said. "Meet some people. Go do something fun."

"I don't really..." 

"I know, I know," Sylvain said. "Something something 'lone wolf.' I know the whole Felix shtick. Just give it a shot. These guys, Linhardt and Caspar, they're really chill. I've met a bunch of their friends too. They're nice."

"I won't know anyone," Felix muttered.

"One, who cares?" Sylvain said. "Isn't that the point of a party? Two, yes you will."

"Not counting you."

"Dimitri is going. And Dedue, of course. And even Ingrid."

"Ingrid's going to a party?" Felix said. 

Sylvain shrugged. "She met Caspar in some intramural sports thing or something. See? Everyone's going. Just come with me. Please." Sylvain dragged out the request in a whine Felix knew all too well. "Consider it payment for me letting you crash here."

"Seriously?" Felix said. 

"That's my price."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Fine," he gritted out. 

"Yes, awesome. It's gonna be so great, Felix. We might even get you laid."

"_What?_"

Sylvain put his hands up. "I'm joking. Relax. But geeze, you sure could use it." 

Felix ground his teeth to avoid getting kicked out of a second house.

"I can't wait," Sylvain said. "Man, there's this chick I've seen around campus. Dorthy or something. Goddess, she's hot. You should see her."

"I'm sure."

"Sorry, right, not your thing. But dude, even you--" Sylvain stopped at the withering look on Felix's face. "In any case, I think she might be there too. You can be my wingman. It's perfect. It's absolutely--"

#

_Miserable,_ Felix grumbled. This party was utterly, utterly miserable.

He stood against a wall, clutching a red plastic cup with some evil concoction in it that tasted like eight different types of booze with a sprinkle of sugar. 

Luckily, everyone else seemed too drunk or horny or both to notice Felix. Sylvain was flitting around the party, chatting with "Dorthy," or whoever she was, as well as Annette and Mercedes. He even tried Ingrid at one point, and nearly died for his trouble. Felix might have thought he deserved it, but, well, Sylvain was still putting him up, rent free, while Felix avoided his father and struggled to get his shit together. At least he had a lead on an apartment, finally. He'd be sharing with three other people, students, but it was better than couch cushions on the floor. 

"Dude." Sylvain stumbled up to him, slinging his arm around Felix. He clinked a plastic cup against Felix's. "Two words: Hot. Tub." 

"What?" 

Sylvain's breath was pungent with sweet alcohol. His cheeks were nearly as rosy as his hair. "Hot tub, dude. As in, there's one here and people are getting in it. _Girls_ are getting in it."

"Swell."

"And guys, probably," Sylvain hastily added. "Come on. Everyone's going."

The main floor of the house was indeed emptier than it had been, with several people headed downstairs toward the backyard. "I really don't care. Besides, I didn't exactly bring a swimsuit."

Sylvain wiggled his eyebrows. "None needed." 

Felix just glared and Sylvain finally relented. "Fine," he said, putting up his hands. He motioned at his whole body. "But you're missing out on all this." He winked and Felix could have strangled him right there and then. Sylvain scurried away before he had the chance. 

Felix sighed. The party suddenly felt very empty, the music cacophonous. Someone was passed out on the floor. Two women sat on the couch looking at their phones. Plastic cups, broken pretzels and discarded clothes littered the living room. 

Felix headed for the kitchen. He needed water if he was going to get himself and Sylvain home tonight. Sylvain would clearly be in no state to drive them back. 

Someone was collecting discarded plastic cups and tossing them in the trash when he entered the kitchen. He was a slight man with a mop of silver hair. Felix vaguely remembered him from earlier in the night. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," the man said. "I assumed everyone went outside for the hot tub." 

"It's fine," Felix said. "I just wanted some water." 

The man stepped aside and Felix started washing the disgusting neon drink out of his plastic cup to replace it with water. 

"Here, use a real cup," the man said, reaching over Felix. His shoulder brushed against Felix's as he got on his tip toes to dig through the cabinet.

"Thanks," Felix muttered. The man took his plastic cup and added it to the trash. 

"I'm Ashe, by the way," the man said. "I saw you come in with Sylvain earlier. Sorry for not introducing myself."

"It's fine," Felix said. 

"You seem like you kinda got dragged here," Ashe said. "I hope you had some fun, at least."

Felix just shrugged. 

Ashe sighed. "I'm gonna be cleaning for hours tomorrow."

"You live here?"

"Yeah. I rent from Linhardt and Caspar. It's really their place. I figure cleaning up is the least I can do to thank them. I think Sylvain said you were his roommate. Is that right?"

"Not… really," Felix said. 

"Oh?" Ashe watched him, his bright green eyes utterly unassuming. 

Felix sipped his glass of water. He must have drank more than he thought because he was suddenly feeling light headed. "It's complicated."

"I'm sorry," Ashe said. "I didn't mean to pry." 

Goddess, why did Felix feel such a strong urge to apologize? "You didn't. Just had a… hard couple weeks. I'm crashing with Sylvain because… I can't really… go home right now."

The sincerity on this stranger's soft, freckled face made Felix feel like he was melting into the linoleum. Why did he care so damn much? They'd literally just met. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ashe said. "I don't really have a home to go back to either, so I understand how you feel. It's scary, not having a safety net to catch you. But it seems like Sylvain really cares about you, so you must have some really good friends helping you." 

"Y-yeah, I suppose." 

"It's really warm in here," Ashe said. "And loud. And messy. Do you want to step outside?"

Felix found himself nodding, then he was following Ashe through the house and out a back door onto a porch. They could hear a rowdy bunch below them sloshing in the hot tub. Ashe and Felix settled in deck chairs. Felix tilted his head back, letting the cool night air lift the haze clouding his mind. 

"They're having fun," Ashe said. 

"Sounds like it." 

"They're going to be miserable tomorrow," Ashe said. "The hot tub dehydrates you even more if you're drinking."

Felix laughed to himself. "You take care of them a lot, huh?"

"I suppose."

"I know the feeling," Felix said. "I'm sure Sylvain won't be getting out of bed tomorrow. It's annoying."

Ashe laughed, a soft tinkle like wind chimes brushed by a breeze. "I don't mind. I've always had someone I needed to look after."

"Oh?"

"My siblings and I lost our parents when we were young," Ashe said. "I was the oldest, by far, but still a kid myself. Even so, I had to look after all of us for a while." 

An old hurt tightened Ashe's voice as he spoke. 

"I'm sorry," Felix said. "I can't imagine." And truly, he couldn't. Losing Glenn had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to contend with, but at least he'd still had a home and a father and food. And he'd never had to mourn the loss of his mother, who'd been gone before he could even bother remembering her. He'd never truly known the kind of want Ashe must have experienced.

"It's OK," Ashe said. "We survived. And we got a new family, a man named Lonato who took us in. And even when he died, there were other relatives willing to help. Rowan and Fina live with our adopted aunt and uncle now. We're really fortunate." 

Felix marveled that Ashe could call himself fortunate considering what he'd just admitted. Felix suddenly felt like a fraud, a spoiled brat running away from home when could have anything he wanted if he just crawled back and apologized to Rodrigue.

"Sorry if that was too much," Ashe said. 

"No," Felix said. "I just... I lost my brother many years ago."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's OK now, but..." Why was he still talking? Where were the words coming from? "Sometimes it feels like my father is trying to replace him with me. And I don't want Glenn's life. He was a wonderful brother. He would have been a great man. But that doesn't mean his life is right for me." 

Felix clamped his mouth shut after the outburst, embarrassed. Why was he saying all this to a stranger? Yet Ashe watched him with no judgment, no pity, no false sympathy. It had to be the booze, but when Felix studied the stranger beside him, he couldn't help feeling calmer. He seemed bright and warm, even in the crisp darkness. He didn't try to force Felix to say any more than he already had, yet Felix felt heard and understood in a way he rarely ever had.

Ashe turned his head, catching Felix staring. Felix blinked and felt heat bloom in his cheeks. 

"Everything OK?" Ashe said, completely unassuming. 

Felix swallowed. "Yeah. Sorry. I..." 

Ashe tilted his head, waiting, but what the hell was Felix supposed to say? _I've had just about the worst couple weeks of my life, after Glenn dying, and you're nice and quiet and pretty and I want to touch every single freckle on your face individually._ Yeah, he _definitely_ couldn't say that. So he just went on staring, his heart beating against his chest to demand he find coherent words. 

"I think I drank too much," Ashe said. 

"Huh?"

Even in the dark, Felix could see the blush lighting Ashe's face. Merciful gods, it only made those freckles more enticing. 

"I think..." Ashe said. 

They stared, both hardly breathing. Felix thought he might crush the glass cup in his hand. Why was Ashe still looking at him like that? What the _hell_ was happening? 

The sliding back door hissed open. "Hey!" Sylvain called.

Felix and Ashe both blinked. Felix straightened. When had he started leaning toward Ashe? 

"There you are," Sylvain said, stepping onto the deck. He was naked, only a towel around his waist. Water dripped off him onto the wood "I couldn't find you inside. Started to worry you'd left me." 

"No," Felix said, mostly just to hear himself speak normally again. 

"People are heading out," Sylvain said. "I'm gonna dry off. You OK to drive?"

Felix nodded. His head was swimming, but he didn't think it was from the alcohol.

He rose and started toward the house, but paused, looking back at Ashe.

"It was nice meeting you," Felix said. "Thanks for the water."

Ashe nodded and Felix turned, feeling a small tug of regret as he put his back to the silver-haired man. 

A hand grabbed his wrist. Felix froze, his blood going cold. 

Ashe released him instantly. "Uh, I'm sorry. I, uh, that was rude."

Felix just shook his head.

"Do you want to exchange numbers… or something?" 

Felix nodded, not trusting himself to speak. They pulled out their phones, typing in digits. Ashe smiled up at him.

"Great," Ashe said. "I'd love to chat more. If you want. And I hope you find a place to live soon."

"Thanks," Felix said.

He wished he could say more, but it was all he could manage. Still, he felt strangely warm and light as he got Sylvain out of the house with most of his clothes and into the car. He hardly heard Sylvain's prattling on about girls as he drove them home. 

It wasn't until he was lying on the couch cushions in Sylvain's room, staring at the dark, his chest warm, that Sylvain finally challenged him. 

"So, you met Ashe, huh?"

"I guess," Felix said.

"Don't know him that well, but I've run into him around campus," Sylvain said. "He's seems nice. And even I can see how cute he is. I saw you exchange numbers."

"So?"

"Nothing," Sylvain said. Silence fell in the dark bedroom. "I'm happy for you, man. You should call him." 

"It was just a conversation."

"I know," Sylvain said. "Still." 

_Still._

Felix turned over in the dark, smiling to himself as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Their first date!
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (no minors please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	6. Friendsgiving (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to finish the story of how Ashe and Felix met in this fluffy, soft AU.

It was quiet. Too quiet. 

Beneath the click of the oven heating up, the steady rhythm of Dedue spreading the sweet potatoes evenly in a pan and the whisper of water just beginning to boil, Ashe heard only one voice, Felix's. 

"They are quiet," Dedue said.

"Yeah," Ashe said. 

"It is... unsettling," Dedue said. "Felix does not speak much." 

"Not usually," Ashe said. He tried to peer out of the kitchen, but couldn't see much from the stove. "I'm sorry. Do you mind if I just go check?"

Dedue shook his head. "I believe all is under control."

Ashe nodded. Without even realizing it, their combined efforts had gotten most of the food into a state where it was simply a matter of setting timers and waiting. Dedue had moved on to a pie. He was carefully placing strawberries inside the crust before covering it with a delicate lattice-work of dough. 

"We're a good team," Ashe said.

Dedue smiled. "Indeed." The large, normally stoic man paused a moment before adding, "We would have a fine restaurant together." 

Ashe brightened. "That would be amazing. Can you imagine? We could make whatever we liked and feed everyone all the time." 

"Yes, it would be quite enjoyable, I think." 

"I agree!" Ashe beamed. No one invested in culinary school unless they dreamed, at least tenuously, of having their own restaurant some day, but to hear Dedue describe the dream aloud... Getting to live that fantasy with his favorite cooking companion would be better than anything he'd imagined. 

Dedue cleared his throat and Ashe saw that his cheeks were faintly flushed. "Perhaps you should check on them." 

Ashe blinked, more at the blush than Dedue's words. Weren't Dimitri and Dedue monogamous? And practically married since high school? "Oh, yeah, sure." He gave himself a mental shake. "I'll be right back." 

"Very well," Dedue said, turning back to his pie. 

Ashe hurried out of the kitchen, setting a timer on his phone so he wasn't away for too long. He found everyone else spread out on the couches in the living room. All eyes focused on Felix. It was just about the strangest scene Ashe could have walked into.

"And then... I... called him," Felix said. "That's pretty much it. See? I told you. Not that interesting." 

Annette shoved Felix by the shoulder. "Liar! I didn't know any of this. Geeze, you really slept on couch cushions for that long?"

Felix shrugged. 

"Hey, he could have shared the bed if he just asked," Sylvain said with a wink. Ashe didn't need to see Felix's face to know he was glaring. 

"So," Annette said. "What was the first date?"

"It wasn't..." Felix sank lower on the couch, looking miserable, and Ashe swept in to save him. 

He came up behind Felix, putting his hands on his shoulders and giving them a squeeze. "We went to that big park on the west side and it was lovely." 

He could feel Felix cringe, but Annette sat up, tugging on Ashe's arm. "Ashe! Come sit with us. Where's Dedue? You need to finish the story." 

Ashe let her drag him around the couch so he could squeeze between her and Felix. There wasn't quite space so she ended up curling up in his lap, her legs draped across both him and Felix. Ashe held her so she wouldn't slip off. 

"Wait, Dedue's alone now though," Mercedes said. She jumped up. "Someone should be helping him."

"Mercie," Annette said, but her partner was already scurrying toward the kitchen. Annette just sighed and shook her head. 

"It's really not that interesting," Ashe said.

"Ugh, that's exactly what Felix said," Annette said.

"Just finish the story, man," Sylvain said. "Felix already told the part I knew. I'm actually curious how you cracked our ice princess over here." 

Ashe sighed. He really did hope Sylvain and Felix finished their little dance some day. They seemed almost physically incapable of not jabbing at each other whenever they were in the same room. If Sylvain showed just a moment of sincerity he might actually get through, but there was no use trying to explain that just now. 

Instead, Ashe thought back, trying to sort out what exactly had led to that first date with Felix. Everyone around them watched him. "Well..."

#

Ashe spent hours cleaning up after the party. He collected cups around people sleeping on couches or the floor, gathered discarded clothing whose owners were probably long gone and discarded beer bottles still sitting around the hot tub. He was wiping spilled drinks off the counters when Caspar finally shuffled into the kitchen. 

"Ashe, you don't need to work so much," he said. His hair stuck out in every possible direction. He had nothing but boxers on. 

"Just doing a little tidying," Ashe said. "Linhardt still asleep?"

Caspar nodded. He rummaged through the fridge and left with an entire carton of orange juice. "Stop cleaning everything," he called as he left.

Ashe ignored his roommate. Caspar and Linhardt let Ashe pay far less than his share of the rent to live in their house. With no family to rely on, Ashe was on the hook for all his bills, including tuition. He stomach sank at that thought. He suspected this would be his last semester. There was simply no way he could keep paying for it. And he didn't even know what he was there for. He was an English major, at the moment. It was probably a huge waste. He'd never be able to take care of himself, let alone Rowan and Fina, with that kind of degree. 

His phone vibrated, pulling him out of his thoughts. It was probably too early to be anyone from the party, so he checked the message, assuming it had to be his siblings. Despite their youth, they checked in on their big brother nearly as often as he checked in on them. 

He paused in surprise when he looked at his phone, though. "Felix." He felt heat lighting his cheeks. The guy from the party? Oh goddess, what had he said? He'd been a little tipsy, but he remembered their conversation. Had he been too forward? He didn't know anything about the guy except that he was attractive. Maybe Ashe had been a little too obvious and now he was going to have an angry straight dude telling him to fuck off. He'd even grabbed the guy's wrist to get his number. Oh Seiros, what had he been thinking?

He opened the message with trepidation.

_Thanks for talking last night_

What did that mean? It didn't sound angry. It didn't sound like anything. 

Ashe tapped out a shaky reply. _No problem! Hope you feel OK today._

_I'm fine. Sylvain, not so much._

Ashe couldn't help laughing. _Poor Sylvain,_ he wrote.

The reply came quickly. _He deserves it._

Ashe didn't respond to that. He'd heard Sylvain and Felix were childhood friends, but he had to confess he didn't quite understand their relationship. They seemed mostly just to fight. Ashe went back to his cleaning, relieved that this Felix guy didn't seem upset, at least not at him. 

But his phone buzzed again.

_Could use some fresh air. You?_

Ashe's heart seemed to stop beating. He typed and deleted and typed and deleted and typed again. He stared at his screen, too afraid to hit send. _Just do it, just do it,_ he told himself, chanting the mantra until he finally sent a simple message: _Yeah, that would be nice._

He put his phone aside. Now he'd really done it. This guy was probably freaked out, thinking Ashe was weird and forward and crazy. Ashe scrubbed harder at the counters. His phone was silent. _Good_, he thought. Better to let it die before he could say anything else stupid. 

He was starting on the dishes when the phone buzzed. He tried to ignore it, clearing out the sink before he dared check the message. 

_Sorry. Took me a while to find it. There's this park on the west side. I'm gonna take a walk, get some fresh air. Interested?_

A link to the park's website followed a moment later. 

Ashe could hardly hold his phone steady. He looked up the park. Two buses and an hour and half away. And it was a Sunday so the next bus wasn't for a solid hour. It was almost a relief, explaining he had no car and the park was simply too far away to get to.

_I have a car. I'll pick you up._

Fuck. 

Ashe could see his finger quivered as he tapped two letters. _OK_

_See you in 15?_

_Sure_

Sure. 

Ashe rushed from the kitchen, heedless of the noise as he ran to his room and started digging around for clean clothes. What was happening? What in all the gods was _happening_? Was this morning real or just a weird hangover dream? 

He texted Annette even as he pulled on a clean shirt. _So I met this guy and I think you know him and he's taking me to a park and what do I do?_

Thankfully, she responded quickly. _OMG WHO???_

_Felix. Didn't get the last name._

_YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH FELIX WHAT THE FUCK?????_

_It's not a date. We're just going to that park on the west side. The big one with the lake._

_Holy shit, Ashe. That's so romantic._

He set his phone aside in frustration. She was only making things worse. But Annette just kept texting.

_How do you have Felix's number? Did he invite you or did you invite him? I need to know EVERYTHING. You better call me after >( _

_Calm down! I don't even know if he likes guys._

He could feel Annette rolling her eyes at him when the response came. _Are you serious? He's taking you to a park the day after he met you._

Ashe jumped when he heard a knock. Caspar stood in the doorway, rubbing at his eyes. 

"What's with all the noise, man?" Caspar said. "You're gonna wake Lin. You know how he gets if he has to get up early."

"Sorry," Ashe said. "I'm meeting a friend in a few minutes and I lost track of time." 

"A friend?"

"Yeah," Ashe said. He hoped he could leave it at that, but Caspar smirked at him, quirking up an eyebrow.

"Who's your friend?"

"Just... no one."

"No one? Come on, Ashe. You can tell me." 

Ashe could feel his face getting hot. He searched for a convenient response. A knock at the front door both saved and doomed him. 

"I'll get it," Caspar said.

Ashe felt the blood drain from his face. He scrambled to tug on jeans and stuff his phone and keys into his pockets as Caspar ran for the door. By the time Ashe made it to the entry hall, Caspar was chatting with Felix. 

"Where ya headed?" Caspar said. 

"I don't see how it's any of your business," Felix replied.

"Geeze, harsh," Caspar said. "It's my house, you know."

"And I'm leaving it." Felix looked past to Caspar to Ashe. "Ready?"

Ashe nodded. He squeezed past Caspar, who slapped him on the shoulder. "Have fun," Caspar said. Ashe cringed as he followed Felix down the front steps and to his car, a small old vehicle parked at the curb. 

"Sorry about him," Ashe said. "He's just being like that because I woke him up."

Felix shrugged. "Doesn't matter." 

Ashe heard the lock click and got in the passenger side. The car was incredibly neat. Almost freakishly neat. Nothing in the cup holders, not even change. Nothing on the floor. Nothing in the back seat. An air freshener hung from the mirror, "Forest" scent. When Felix started the car and pulled away from the curb, music played quietly, almost indistinctly. 

Ashe felt all his nervousness quieting. It was like the previous night at the party. There was something so innately calming about Felix's entire demeanor. Even as Annette buzzed away in his pocket, probably asking more probing questions, all the frantic, anxious energy of the morning evaporated. 

Ashe didn't even realize they hadn't spoken a word to each other until they sat at a red light and he could hear the silence around them. 

"Do you need to answer that?" Felix said.

It took a moment for Ashe to realize he meant the messages rattling his phone. "Oh, probably not." He checked. A slew of texts from Annette: _OMG what's happening? You can't shut me out like this. Did he show? What's going on? CALL ME PLEASE I'll never forgive you if you don't call me later. NEVER_

"Anything important?" Felix said.

"Just Annette." 

The light changed and they rolled on, heading toward the highway that wrapped around the city. "Are you two close?" Felix said. 

"Yeah," Ashe said. "She's great. We met about a year ago at one of Sylvain's things and I think we've talked every single day since." 

"Is she your..."

Ashe felt heat light his cheeks. "Oh, no, no. Just a friend." 

"Oh."

There was something heavy in that single word, something, dare Ashe think it, hopeful? Thankfully, the conversation shifted to more benign things as they drove the rest of the way to the park. Ashe barely realized it when the road narrowed to two lanes winding around a lake. Gronder Field was massive. From the lake at its center, it sprawled outward, up hills with trails winding between trees, past tennis courts and soccer fields, even between a building that rented out kayaks to use on the water. 

Felix parked near the path that wrapped around the lake and Ashe stepped out into the warm summer day. Even on a Sunday morning, they were far from the only ones who'd thought to come to the lake. Children swam in a roped off area to the side. Several paddle boats puttered across the water. Runners and skaters and bikers looped around the path between couples strolling hand-in-hand. 

"This way," Felix said. 

Ashe could only gape and follow him to the path. Felix had his hands in his pockets, looking utterly unimpressed with the blooming flowers and shimmering lake and swaying treetops around them. 

"Never been here?" Felix said as they walked.

"No," Ashe said. "It's... amazing." 

"Hm." 

"Have you?"

"Yeah," Felix said. "Grew up around here."

"I thought you were just too cool to look impressed."

Felix blinked at him. Ashe couldn't help laughing at the break in the quiet man's stoic facade. 

"You grew up with Sylvain and the others, right?" Ashe said. 

Felix just nodded. 

"That must have been fun," Ashe said.

"It was... something." 

"Sylvain is nice," Ashe said. "I like him. We only met once in some lit class and he paid me to do his homework even though he could have done it himself. But he's invited me to all his parties and stuff since then. It's how I got to meet Annettee and everyone else. It must have been fun growing up with someone like that."

"It was... a lot." 

"Oh?"

Felix sighed. He seemed to chew on his words a moment, sneaking a glance over at Ashe. Ashe hadn't realized in the dark last night that his eyes were warm and dark like melting amber. 

"He's fine now," Felix finally said. "But when we were younger he... could be a bit of a bully." 

"Toward you?"

Felix nodded. "I, uh... He wanted to chase girls, but I... wasn't interested in that." 

Felix was looking straight ahead now, a faint tinge in his cheeks. Ashe's heart fluttered in his chest like a bird trying to fly away. He rushed to fill the awkward silence.

"That's tough, especially when it's a friend," Ashe said. "I was lucky. My siblings were very supportive." 

He saw Felix exhale a held breath. "You have siblings? That's right. You mentioned them last night."

"Yeah," Ashe said. "Rowan and Fina were super young when we lost our parents. So was I, really, but I was the oldest, so I took care of them as best I could until our adoptive father took us in. He was a kind man. And I guess just being safe and fed and all that allowed me to realize I was different. But it's terrifying, you know? I felt like I had finally found some safety and security for us and I was just making things complicated again for no good reason."

"I understand," Felix said. "When my brother died, it felt like everyone wanted me to replace him. But how could I replace him if I was... different? Dimitri, Ingrid, Sylvain—they tried to support me, but they had their own shit to deal with. I mean, the same accident that took Glenn also took Dimitri's parents. It just felt selfish, throwing in a coming out on top of all that." 

Ashe nodded along. He dared not interrupt as the story poured in a slow dribble out of Felix. Even only knowing him for two days, Ashe could tell he rarely spoke at such length. When he was done, Felix's cheeks were flushed. 

"We weren't selfish," Ashe said.

Felix glanced over at him. 

"It's not selfish to be who you are," Ashe said. "And the people who love you will love you more for being yourself. That's how it was with Rowan and Fina. It took me a while to realize it, but when I did, I understood that I was only creating distance between us by acting like I was an inconvenience." 

Felix nodded. They lapsed into a comfortable quiet. They'd passed the swimming area by now and looped around the side of the lake to a wooded area where large, bristling trees cooled the heat of the day. They reached a bridge that arched over a little stream that emptied into the lake and Felix paused at the railing. He pointed across the lake. 

"That's where we parked," he said. "Halfway already." 

"Wow, I can't believe we've walked all that way," Ashe said. "It's felt like no time at all." 

Felix regarded him with those amber eyes, seeming to want to speak, and Ashe just waited. They were nearly the same height, but it somehow always felt like Felix was looking down at him, his presence looming despite his reserved nature. Ashe couldn't say he minded. There was something comforting in being in Felix's shadow. He didn't realize his mouth was hanging slightly open until he remembered to breathe again.

"Let's keep going," Felix said. 

They continued around the lake, but the conversation withered under the weight of whatever that look on the bridge had been. Ashe fiddled with his hands as he walked, studying the scenery instead of the man beside him.

He gasped. "Is that Duran?"

"What's Duran?"

"A bakery," Ashe said. "A famous one. I didn't realize it was right here in the park." 

"Do you... want to go?" 

Ashe finally looked at Felix, whose eyes skittered aside when Ashe tried to meet them. "Yes, so much!" 

"...OK." 

Felix started leading them off the path around the lake and toward the bakery. Blue and white umbrellas shaded the tables at the storefront. The word Duran ran in looping gold letters across the front of the building. 

"I'll wait out here," Felix said, choosing one of the empty tables.

"You don't want something?" Ashe said. "They're famous for their sweets."

"I'm... fine." 

There was more to it than that, Ashe was sure, but he hurried into the shop, getting in line. Even the inside was cute and elegant. Display cases showed off the baked treats the shop was renowned for. Blue chairs lined up at a counter where customers sipped coffee and ate their snacks. The employees all wore blue smocks and had interesting, fashionable hair. 

When Ashe got to the counter, a woman with piercings in her lip and purple hair greeted him. "What can I get you?" 

Gosh, wasn't that a loaded question though? Ashe longed to try everything before him, but he settled on just a few things. When he brought them outside, Felix had his chin on his hand and was staring out at the lake, his eyes a million miles away. Ashe hadn't realized how long his hair must be, but saw now the tight curl of blue-black bound up in a bun. Even relaxed, Felix's arms were toned, his figure lithe and strong. Hadn't Sylvain said something about a gym? Maybe he was a fitness freak who refused to eat sweets. Ashe's heart sank.

He sat beside Felix, offering a petite white cake, a perfectly folded croissant and a miniature pie with strawberries fanned out on top. 

"I got two forks," Ashe said. "Just in case." 

"Oh, uh, thanks." 

Ashe wanted to crawl under the table and die. Felix clearly hated everything about the sweets. 

"I'm sorry," Ashe said. "I forgot. Sylvain said something about you working at a gym or something. If you can't, if you're on some special diet or something..."

"No diet," Felix said. "I just... I... don't really like sweet things." 

Ashe wilted. What had he done? After the moment on the bridge and everything, he'd just gone and ruined it. "I'm so sorry. This was totally my thing. I didn't even ask--"

"It's fine," Felix said. "Really. Maybe I'll like it." 

"You don't have to. Oh goddess, I should have asked." He put his face in his hands.

"Ashe." 

He peeked between his fingers. 

"I don't care about the sweets," Felix said. "I just..." He swallowed. "I just wanted to get to talk to you again." 

Ashe's hands fell away, limp. "Oh..." 

They sat in silence, forks dangling in their hands, neither willing to break the stare pinning them in place. Ashe's stomach was doing flips; he suddenly didn't feel hungry at all. 

Felix cleared his throat. "Which one is the least sweet?" 

"Um." Ashe shook himself. "Uh, this one." 

He pointed at the croissant and Felix ripped off a small piece, chewing carefully. After a moment, he chewed more vigorously, his eyebrows rising in surprise. "It's good." 

"Dark chocolate," Ashe said. "It's a little bitter for some people. You should have it." 

"You don't want any?"

"I think the other two will be plenty," Ashe said. "Besides, it seems like you'd hate them." 

"Well..." Felix regarded the little cakes with a grimace. 

Disaster averted, Ashe was finally able to enjoy his cakes. The conversation got easier. Felix quickly picked up on Ashe's love of baking and encouraged him to dive into details he couldn't have possibly cared about. Still, it was nice just to be listened to. Caspar and Lin enjoyed his cooking, but they rarely asked him about it. 

Soon, they were back on the lakeside trail and Ashe was digging out Felix's interests, which mostly all seemed to focus on his gym. It was fascinating to see Felix talk about something he cared about. He opened up in a way he didn't even seem conscious of. Ashe tugged at the threads of that passion, soaking in the sight of the taciturn man looking excited about something. Sylvain had called him cold, but Ashe thought that assessment was missing the mark by a wide margin. There was much more going on than Felix let on, and Ashe found himself longing to explore. 

It was disappointing to make it back to the car. They both paused at the doors. Felix held his keys but didn't unlock the car. 

"Do you..." Felix said. He shook his head, then continued on. "Do you want to keep walking?" 

"Yes," Ashe said. 

Felix looked relieved. He pointed up a hill. "There's a path through the trees." 

"Great," Ashe said. 

Felix lingered, watching Ashe with that odd, hesitant expression again. He shivered, even in the warm day, and finally set off. 

They made it to the edge of the forested area before they saw the gate surrounding it. A sign beside the trail said "Closed for university forestry study. Sorry for the inconvenience." 

Felix grumbled. "Bullshit. They say that every year. No one ever comes."

"Maybe they're doing a study at night." 

"Doubtful," Felix said. "They're just too lazy to take the sign down." He glanced around a moment. Then, in one swift motion, he climbed up the wooden barrier, throwing his leg over and hopping down to the other side. He motioned for Ashe to follow. "Hurry." 

Ashe scrambled to follow him, but he wasn't nearly as athletic as Felix. He climbed clumsily up the wood, but struggled to get his leg over. Then he was sitting at the top of the fence, looking down at the ground several feet below and feeling a cold dread. 

Felix raised his arms. "Come on," he said. "I'll help." 

They both froze. Felix's cheek colored as he realized what he'd said. Ashe hesitated, but Felix didn't withdraw. Those strong, lean arms were still there, ready to catch him. He slid down on the fence, hanging, his feet toward the ground. Felix's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Let go," Felix said. "I've got you." 

Ashe did and Felix lowered him the last couple feet to the ground. He quickly released Ashe, stepping back. 

"Thanks," Ashe said. 

Felix was looking at the ground, his cheeks still burning. Ashe was sure his own face was just as rosy. Why had he felt so safe in that hold? Like nothing bad in all the universe could reach him for a moment. 

Felix held out a hand. "Come on." 

Ashe took his hand. It was warm and calloused. Felix squeezed his hand, sure and steady, and led Ashe off into the forest.

#

"And I haven't been able to pry them apart since," Annette said. "Goddess, I begged you for that story and you refused all that day. I was seriously so mad at you." 

"I didn't want to scare him off," Ashe said. "Felix clearly wasn't the type to want to talk about his business. I didn't tell anyone." 

"Even I didn't know," Sylvain said. "So unfair." 

"I don't see how it was anyone's business," Felix said. 

"See?" Ashe said. "You wouldn't say anything either if someone so dashing whisked you away to the forest." 

Felix was muttering to himself and blushing. Ashe patted him on the leg. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm teasing. No one cares anymore." 

"It's just so un-Felix-y," Sylvain said. 

"Oh, I don't know," Dimitri said. "I still remember when Felix was a crybaby little kid." 

Felix stared daggers across the room at him. 

"Let's not," Ingrid groaned. 

Dedue and Mercedes saved them all, popping into the room to announce that all the food was finally done. They shuffled through the kitchen in a line, heaping their plates high with sweet potatoes, turkey, cranberry sauce, asparagus and cornbread. Then they reconvened in the living room. 

Ashe sat with Felix, eating his cranberry sauce when Felix deemed it too sweet, coaxing him to at least _try_ the sweet potatoes (which, Ashe noted with satisfaction, Felix actually did enjoy). 

It felt so far away, those anxious days when they'd first started dating. Sure, there was something exciting and sweet about getting to know Felix, but there was something even more exhilarating about really knowing him now. The inside jokes, the conversations they could share with just a glance, the sweet little touches Felix allowed even in public, these were more precious than even the memory of that first date. They were tokens of the time Ashe had put in, the layers and layers of locks he'd picked to get to the heart and soul of his partner. 

Ashe snuck a look around the room at the friends who'd slowly become a family. He felt like the luckiest person in the whole world to be surrounded by so much love.

Then the doorbell rang. 

Annette jumped up. "I'll get it."

Ashe felt Felix sit up straighter beside him. A faint smile tugged at his lips. 

"What is..." Ashe started.

Then he heard Rowan and Fina's voices in the hall. 

Felix's smile broadened. Ashe's eyes went wide. 

"They wanted to surprise you," Felix said. 

"Seriously? They're here? They're really here?" Ashe blinked at the water filling his eyes. 

Felix nodded. He gave Ashe a swift peck. "Go say hi."

Ashe jumped up and there they were, two silver-haired teenagers beaming at him from the hall. He practically ran across the room, pulling them both against him in a massive hug. Rowan was already taller than him, but Fina was still just barely shorter. Ashe clung to them, tears leaking from his eyes. 

"Geeze, calm down," Rowan said. 

"Ashe, you're gonna squeeze me to death."

"I can't believe you're here," Ashe said, finally easing up. "Aren't you supposed to be with your aunt and uncle? What about school? Don't tell me you're skipping."

Rowan rolled his eyes. "We're on break. Relax." 

"It's OK," Fina said. "We don't have to go back for a week. In fact, we're staying with you." 

"You're..." Ashe whirled to look at Felix, who just nodded. "Really?"

His siblings nodded. "Auntie said it was OK." 

Ashe wrapped them in another hug, refusing to let go even when they complained. 

"Ashe, chill," Fina said. "Can we eat? We're starving." 

"Yes, of course! Dedue did most of the cooking. Have you met Dedue? He's an amazing cook." 

Ashe led them around, filling their plates, introducing them to everyone, getting them settled on the couch with more food than they could possibly consume. Ashe wished the day would never end, that he could be surrounded by this mismatched, haphazard family forever. It had been built deliberately, over time, yet the family he celebrated with that day was as real as the family he'd once had with his parents, or Lonato. It was a family he'd chosen, a family who'd chosen him in return, and he felt like the luckiest person in the whole world for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All queer people instantly start talking about growing up queer when we meet. I don't make the rules. 
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	7. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe's siblings are staying with Ashe and Felix. Since it's their last day with them, Ashe takes them out to the aquarium. Felix meets up with the Uberts later for a special surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ferris wheel scene is for Cyn, who sent me a gorgeous Ashelix charm and said they like fluffy romance.
> 
> But also, that scene is for me. It's indulgent as fuck. I don't know if it's in any way realistic and I absolutely don't care.

By the time Felix woke up, the whole apartment smelled like pancakes.

He slouched out of the bedroom to find Ashe bustling around the kitchen, stacking up pancakes on plates even as he cooked more. 

“We tried to stop him,” Fina said from where she lounged on the couch, scrolling through her phone. “He just keeps making more.” 

Ashe's siblings had been staying with them nearly a week now. No wonder Ashe had decided to cook them up a huge meal for their last day. But Ashe had been making them special meals all week, and their kitchen was still suffering for it. 

Felix slid up behind Ashe in the kitchen, hugging his arms around his waist while Ashe flipped pancakes.

“Hungry?” Ashe said.

“No,” Felix said. 

“There's coffee,” Ashe said. 

“We're going to have pancakes for years,” Felix said. He buried his face against Ashe's shoulder, tempted to go back to sleep just like that. 

“I might have gone a little overboard,” Ashe said. “Are you sure you don't want anything but coffee?”

“Mmm,” Felix said.

“Maybe later then,” Ashe said.

“Maybe.” Felix forced himself away from Ashe and poured a cup of coffee, some fancy roast from the bakery judging by the slightly fruity smell of it. He settled on the couch beside Fina, who pulled up her legs to make room for him. Rowan lay on the floor, engrossed in a handheld video game. 

Felix was just letting the coffee seep down his throat, was just allowing the warmth to gently chase off the last tendrils of sleep, when he heard a gasp beside him. He found Fina looking at him over her phone.

“Your hair,” she said. “Oh my gods, Felix, can I braid it?”

“What?” 

Ashe peeked around the corner of the kitchen. “Fina, don't tease him.”

The teenager sat up straighter. “I'm not teasing. It's gorgeous. I need to braid it. Please, Felix. _Please._”

Felix set down his coffee, quickly tying up the hair he'd absentmindedly left loose that morning. “I don't think so.” 

“Ugh,” Fina said, settling back with a flop and a sigh. “I bet you let Ashe braid it.”

Felix had only just regained his coffee and nearly spit out the sip he'd taken. 

“Fina,” Ashe said. “You're being weird and rude.” 

“What?” she snapped. “I'm just saying.” 

“Fina.” Ashe's voice took on a distinctly “dad” tone. 

“Fine, sorry,” she said, though Felix saw the girl roll her eyes. “Is it so terrible for me to tell him he has nice hair? It's a _compliment._”

“Hey,” Rowan said from the floor, “when you guys get married are you gonna wear your hair down for the wedding, Felix?”

This time Felix did spit out his coffee. Ashe swept into the room, spatula jerking with each angry word he leveled at his siblings, but the two teenagers were nearly in hysterics. 

Felix set aside his coffee and retreated to the kitchen while the siblings teased each other. He took a couple pancakes, smearing peanut butter on them rather than syrup. 

When he turned around, Ashe stood in the entrance way to the kitchen, shrugging into a jacket. “We're going to see the aquarium,” he said. “Still meeting us at the pier later?” 

Felix nodded and Ashe stepped forward to give him a peck. 

“I'm sorry they're being so obnoxious today,” Ashe said. “It's their last day so I guess they feel like they can get away with it.” 

“It's fine,” Felix said. “They're just kids.”

“Well, even so, thanks for being patient. We'll get out of your...” Ashe dared not finish the sentence.

Felix just smiled, kissing him again. “Have fun.”

“We will,” Ashe said. “See you later.” 

He left, Rowan and Fina fast on his heels. The teenagers waved at Felix, still chattering with Ashe. 

The door cut off their conversation. Felix exhaled a sigh in the silence that followed the whirlwind of energy so early in the morning. He settled on the couch with his pancakes, not even bothering to turn on the TV, just appreciating the quiet for a few minutes. 

Rowan and Fina were smart kids and made as little mess as possible, but it was still tough having two more people in the tiny apartment for an entire week. Felix wouldn't be upset to have it back down to just him and Ashe. 

Until then, he kicked his feet up, tilted his head back and tried to enjoy the quiet for just a couple more hours.

#

Felix spent the better part of the day resolving the pancake explosion that had taken over their kitchen that morning. But there was plenty else to clean around the apartment after that. He even threw in everyone's laundry and got it mostly folded before the sky started to blush pink in the glow of the setting sun.

He checked his phone, cursed under his breath and grabbed his jacket, rushing out of the apartment and to the bus stop a couple blocks away. 

The city slid through the haze of waning winter light and into cold, crisp darkness as the bus bumbled along, winding through traffic. The chill slowed the city, like smoke calming a bee hive. Even so, the city was a big place and there were plenty of people still out and about even on a frigid Sunday evening.

Felix paused to wrap his scarf tighter around his neck and shove his hands in his pockets when he exited the bus. The piers buffeted the roads the bus had followed through the city, marking the end of business as usual and the start of the sprawling tourist district. Before Felix, restaurants with “the freshest fish in town” and shops full cheap tokens for tourists hulked in the gathering gloom. The many piers of the district jutted out into the water like jagged teeth. Atop the water, ferries flitted like fireflies. 

Felix was still trying to find “Pier 8,” the one he was supposed to meet Ashe at, when he saw a trio of figures hurrying toward him. Ashe and his siblings were nearly indistinguishable until they got closer. They all wore beanies, their silver hair poking out. A rush of conversation tumbled at Felix when they drew near.

“You've gotta see this thing Ashe found,” Rowan was saying.

Ashe dug around in a shopping bag. 

“It's so insane,” Rowan said.

“Like, who needs this stuff?” Fina said. “Who even decides to make this stuff?”

Ashe's hand emerged hauling an enormous ring. It was nearly big enough for Ashe to fit his whole head through. He held it up and peered through it at Felix. 

“It's all candy,” Rowan said. “Five pounds of pure sugar.”

Felix struggled not to grimace. “You... bought that? At the aquarium?”

“It's for them,” Ashe said. “Don't worry.” 

Fina was openly laughing. “Oh, Ashe, you should have said it was for Felix and forced him to be nice about it. Look how much he hates it.” 

“Fina,” Ashe said, dragging out the sound of her name in warning.

The teenager rolled her eyes, but didn't push further. 

“Anyway, let's get going,” Ashe said. “We only have a couple hours before the piers close down.” 

Ashe looped his arm through Felix's and started them all back toward the piers. Felix was grateful for the added warmth of Ashe's body close to his. As the sun sank, he could see his breath puffing out before him like a flurry of snowflakes. The water turned into a fathomless, whispering expanse of black. As lights winked on, they danced atop the water, sketching a shifting mimicry of the city above. 

Ashe led them from shop to shop. Rowan and Fina were like bees set loose in a field of flowers, buzzing from one trinket to the next, never settling in any one spot long. Ashe and Felix mostly just watched, though more than once Ashe became entranced with some bauble or treat. 

They paused briefly for hot ciders at a stall set up on one of the piers. All four leaned against the wooden railing of the pier, sipping their drinks and watching the lights slipping along the silky onyx of the water. 

“I don't wanna go home,” Rowan grumbled. 

“Yeah,” Fina agreed. “It's so much fun here. You guys are cool.”

“Even for old people?” Ashe said.

“You're not old,” Fina said. “Maybe Felix is.”

“Hey,” Felix said. 

Fina was laughing again and Felix couldn't help but smile. 

Rowan huffed out a sigh. “We're gonna have to go back to school soon. It's so boring. And easy.”

“You're almost done though, right?” Ashe said. “Last semester of high school. Are you thinking about colleges?” 

Both teenagers wrinkled their noses, looking so remarkably similar in that moment that Felix could hardly tell them apart. 

“It's important to go to school,” Ashe said.

“You didn't,” Fina said. 

“Well, I am now,” Ashe said, “and I wish I'd gone sooner.” 

Fina glanced over at her brother, suddenly somber. She set a hand atop Ashe's. “I mean, you couldn't. Not really. With us.” 

“That's not what I meant,” Ashe said. 

“It's OK,” Rowan said. “It's just the truth. You looked after us. How could you go to college too?”

“Yeah,” Fina said. “You were practically our parent half our lives.”

“I didn't mean to... You shouldn't feel guilty...” Ashe said. 

Fina shook her head. “It's not guilt. It's gratitude.”

“You're a really good brother,” Rowan added. 

Felix heard Ashe swallow beside him. “You... I just...”

Suddenly, Fina gasped. “Oh no, we lost track of time.”

Rowan glanced at his phone. “Shit,” he hissed. “Come on. We have to hurry.”

“Hurry?” Ashe said, but Fina was already pulling him along and Rowan was waving furiously for Felix to follow. “What's going on? What are you talking about? And you shouldn't swear.”

“Just _come on_,” Fina said. “Scold our language later. Geeze.” 

They let the teenagers pull them along, practically jogging across the pier. Felix downed the last of his cider in a gulp and tossed his paper cup at a trashcan as they hurried past. 

Finally, the teens stopped, breathless.

“What...” Ashe started, but then Rowan and Fina pointed. 

Ashe and Felix followed their fingers up, up, all the way up to the glowing, blinking, massive ferris wheel towering above them. A whirl of color cascaded out from the center of the wheel, a wash of green and blue and yellow. When it hit the edge of the wheel, it receded like a tide washing away. Even the carts were bright, glowing blue like planets orbiting the heavens. 

“What are we doing here?” Ashe said.

“Just come on,” Fina said. 

The teenagers led them yet farther, until they stood at the ticket booth. 

“We have a reservation for Ubert,” Fina said. 

The man behind the booth started typing. “The deluxe package?”

“That's right,” Fina said. 

“OK, it'll be about five minutes,” the man said. “But this says two?”

“Yup!” Rowan said. “Those two.” He jabbed his thumb at Ashe and Felix. 

“Great, if they'd just step into the VIP line over there,” the man said.

Ashe and Felix stumbled toward the line in a daze.

“What is this?” Ashe said. 

“It's a gift,” Fina said. “For taking care of us. Not just this week.”

“But this is... This is expensive,” Ashe said.

“Stop it,” Fina said, setting her hands on her hips. “We did it because we could. And, anyway, it's too late. So get in line before you waste it.” 

“I...” Ashe said.

Felix set a hand on Ashe's shoulder. “Thank you.”

The teenagers smiled at Felix's response.

“We're just gonna chill in the shop over there, OK?” Fina said.

“I...” Ashe stuttered. “Do you need money? Don't go far. Stay on this pier, OK? Do you have cash or anything? If you can't find us--”

“Ashe,” Rowan cut in. “Calm down. Relax. Enjoy your ride. Look, it's coming.”

And indeed a cart larger than the rest was making its way around the wheel and to the platform. The woman operating the ride waved at Ashe and Felix. 

“Come on,” Felix said, taking Ashe's hand. “We shouldn't miss it.”

“I knew I liked him,” Fina said. 

Felix tugged Ashe along. They stepped up to the ride, showing the operator their VIP tickets. She opened the door for them, ushering them into a cart ringed in plush red seating. Just before shutting the door, she handed each of them a plastic wine glass full of champagne. 

“Enjoy your ride,” she said, closing the door. 

The ferris wheel jerked. Ashe and Felix settled together on one side of the cart, trying to ensure their champagne didn't slosh out as the wheel started to turn and they rose from the pier and into the night sky.

The city fell away. Inside the cart, there was only the sound of creaking machinery and their own breaths. The pier receded to a freckling of swaying lights, indistinguishable from the black water beyond. The water melded into the night sky, the lights of ferries and the shine of stars dappling the black landscape. 

As they rose even higher, Felix could see the rest of the city, rigid towers and skyscrapers with sporadic lights like patches on a quilt. Somewhere beyond, the hulking shadows of mountains cut a swatch of deeper darkness against the skyline. 

The wheel paused at the very top. Ashe stood, unsteady for a moment as the cart swayed, then found his balance and put a hand to the glass. Felix stood beside him, sipping his champagne.

“This is insane,” Ashe breathed. “It's so beautiful.”

Felix slipped his free hand around Ashe's waist, pulling him close as they stood alone amid the swirl of black water and blacker sky, both flecked with light like dots of paint flicked onto a canvas. They might have been floating above the world, quiet and alone with the whole universe on display before them.

“How much did this all cost?” Ashe said. “It must have been expensive.”

Felix kissed his head. “Stop worrying about it. They're good kids. They wouldn't have done it if they weren't able. They wanted you to have this. Enjoy it or you're just wasting their generosity.” 

For a moment, Ashe didn't respond. Then Felix heard a soft sniffle. He looked beside him to see a shimmer on Ashe's cheeks. 

“Are you OK?” Felix said.

Ashe nodded. “They've just... they've been through so much. And they're such good kids. They have every reason to be bitter and angry and sad, but they're generous and kind instead.”

“They learned from you,” Felix said. 

Ashe shook his head. “I can't take credit for it.”

“Of course you can,” Felix said. “Do you really think they wouldn't say exactly the same thing about the brother who raised them?” 

Ashe was still shaking his head, but he made no further protest. 

“I'm just really proud of them,” Ashe said quietly.

Felix set his empty champagne glass down, easing Ashe's out of his hand as well. He faced Ashe in the cart, holding his waist. His face was rosy from the tears he tried to scrub away, his freckles mirroring the stars piercing the night sky. 

“They're proud of you, too,” Felix said. 

“Shut up,” Ashe said, smiling. “You're gonna make me cry again.” 

Felix leaned in instead, kissing Ashe as the starlight mingled with the wheel's illumination to splash them with blue and silver light. Felix curled his fingers just a little, encouraging Ashe closer against him. Ashe reached up, his hands on Felix's neck as their lips chased away the chill of the winter air seeping into the cart. 

The wheel restarted with a jerk. They fell back, Felix landing on the seat with Ashe on top of him. 

Ashe laughed, sitting in Felix's lap. “Gods, it's like one of those corny movies. Oh no, I just _happened_ to trip into you. Whatever will I do?” Ashe smirked, his hands still on Felix's neck.

Felix jerked him closer by the waist. “Guess you'll just have to stay here.” 

“No choice,” Ashe said. “Drat.”

“Drat,” Felix agreed, leaning in for another kiss as the wheel arched gently downward, returning them to the pier.

They were nearly to the ground when Ashe pushed away. “I love you, Felix Fraldarius,” he said. The flashing lights of the wheel splashed his face red and blue and green, but those minty eyes of his cut through it all, brighter than any other light. 

Felix stole a final peck. “Love you too,” he mumbled against Ashe's lips. The words were still clumsy and difficult, but Ashe smiled all the same before he climbed off Felix's lap. 

The operator helped them out of the cart at the bottom, collecting their empty cups. Rowan and Fina waited for them, shivering in the cold. 

“How was it?” Fina said.

“It was lovely,” Ashe said. “Thank you so much.”

They all turned away from the wheel, starting toward the bus stop.

“I bet they made out the whole time,” Rowan said.

“Rowan!” Ashe said, but the teenagers were already laughing, skipping ahead while Ashe and Felix walked hand in hand behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


	8. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New Years Eve. That means YET ANOTHER party. All Felix wants to do is go home and snuggle up to Ashe.
> 
> Good thing Felix is the best/worst at cheesy romantic gestures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Steel Dragon on Twitter, who responded to a NYE kiss prompt with a request for Ashelix. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy this absolutely disgusting tooth-rot.

“Let's leave.”

Felix tugged on Ashe's hand, trying to pull him up from the couch. Ashe stood, abandoning a conversation with Annette and Mercedes about their top three movies of all time. 

“It's not midnight,” Ashe said. 

People were still filtering into the party. Few of their friends were truly tipsy yet. 

“I know,” Felix said. “Let's leave anyway.” 

“Felix, it's rude,” Ashe said. 

“Why?”

“Because it's a new year's party and we'd be leaving _hours_ before midnight.”

“Blame it on me.” Felix stepped closer, slipping an arm around Ashe's waist, banishing the space between their bodies. 

“I'm not going to blame it on you.”

“Why not?” Felix said. “No one would care.” 

Felix was kissing Ashe's neck, but Ashe leaned away. “Why do you want to leave so badly?” 

Felix huffed, so close his sigh puffed against Ashe's face, sweet with the smell of alcohol. “Aren't you tired of parties yet? Halloween. Thanksgiving. Friendsgiving. Christmas. Parties, parties, parties. I just want a night at home with you.” 

Ashe struggled not to smile. He knew Felix got exhausted from constant social interaction like this. It had been a bit of a feat getting him out of the apartment at all tonight. But Ashe supposed he did have a point. It had been an awfully long time since they'd just had a normal, boring week, especially with Rowan and Fina visiting. If he was being honest, Ashe wouldn't be sad to see the holiday season finally end, allowing their lives to fall back into a familiar rhythm. 

“OK,” Ashe said. “Switch whatever you're drinking for water first though.”

“I barely had half a drink.”

“Even so,” Ashe said. “One full cup of water. It'll give me time to say goodbye.” 

“Fine,” Felix said. 

He slinked off to find water while Ashe turned back to his friends. Annette was scowling at him.

“Don't tell me you're leaving,” she said.

His guilt must have shown plainly because she rolled her eyes.

“Tell Felix to come pick you up tomorrow,” Annette said. “Stay.”

“Honestly, I could use an early night too,” Ashe said. “We've been really busy lately.” 

“He's turning you into an old man,” Annette said. “It's not even midnight.” 

“I know, I know. I'll see you on Wednesday though.”

Annette grumbled but rose from the couch, giving Ashe a kiss on the cheek and a few more guilty looks before releasing him. He made his way through the rest of the party, making his goodbyes (with apologies) to Dedue, Dimitri, Ingrid, Sylvain and the others. Felix already had his shoes on by the time Ashe got to the door. 

“You're eager to leave,” Ashe said. “Even for you.” 

Felix just shrugged, but Ashe noticed the way he practically ran back out to the car, starting it and pulling away before it had even warmed up. He must truly have been anxious to get home and away from yet another party. Ashe couldn't say he was surprised, but it'd be nice if Felix at least _pretended_ to enjoy the company of their friends.

Ashe struggled not to sigh. Who was he fooling? Felix never pretended anything. Ashe doubted he even could. 

Ashe watched the city slip by, the bars full of parties, the TVs flickering in every window as the clock inched toward midnight. Tired as he was, part of him longed to be part of one of those kinds of celebrations. 

When they made it home, Felix parked the car but didn't move. Ashe paused, sensing the sudden strangeness. 

“Is... everything OK?” Ashe said.

Felix nodded. “I need you to stay here for a few minutes.”

“What?” 

Felix opened his mouth but no words emerged. “I'm no good at this. Just... please?” 

“Are you hurt?”

Felix shook his head.

“Is something wrong?”

Another shake.

“I don't understand,” Ashe said.

“I know, I know.” Felix ran a hand through his bangs, something Ashe only saw him do when he was nervous or frustrated. “Just stay here until I text you. Please?”

“OK...” Ashe said.

“I won't be long,” Felix said. “I swear.” He rushed from the car, disappearing into the apartment building before Ashe could protest. 

Ashe opened his phone. _Felix is being super weird,_ he texted Annette. 

Her response was nearly instant. _omg I'm so mad that he made you leave. What is with him tonight?_

_No clue. So weird._

_I'm going to come steal you,_ she threatened.

_Stop it. Enjoy your party._

_>(_

He shook his head, retreating to social media instead, scrolling idly through posts while his mind wandered. The car started to get cold. Seriously, what was taking so long? 

Just when he was about to text Felix and demand answers himself, he finally got a ping.

_OK, come up._

Ashe grumbled as he left the car and hurried into the warmth of the apartment building. A wave of anxiety prickled at his palms as he rode the elevator up. Felix was a rock, steady and reliable and utterly umovable. This was beyond strange for him. 

Ashe knocked on his own door with trepidation. 

“Come in,” Felix called. 

Ashe turned the handle carefully. It was dark. All the lights in the apartment were off. Yet flickering light illuminated a path through his home. 

Ashe entered with his mouth agape. He took off his shoes, then stepped onto a path marked by flickering little candles set in a lane that wound from the door to balcony, where Felix stood framed in candlelight. 

“What is this?” Ashe said as he walked. 

Felix extended a hand. Ashe took it, stepping up close to Felix. 

“I know you wanted a special New Year's Eve,” Felix said. “So I... I tried to make you something special.” 

“Felix...” 

“Come on,” Felix said. “The fireworks are going to start soon.”

Felix led him out onto their balcony, where yet more candles flickered in the crisp night air. Felix had a space heater set up on the deck and blankets laid on chairs. They bundled up, pulling the chairs close together.

Just as Ashe thought he might be adjusting to the odd evening, he heard ice rustling. Felix opened a bottle and champagne hissed. 

Felix passed him a glass. “Happy New Year,” he said.

“It's not mid--”

Even as Ashe spoke, fireworks burst over the city, red and blue and pink and white, trailing streamers of light that fizzled out in the night sky. Ashe's hand froze around the champagne glass as more fireworks followed, blooming like flowers in staccato cracks and crackles. At times, they seemed so close Ashe leaned back in his chair. The booms echoed in his chest. 

He turned and found Felix watching him instead of the fireworks. His amber eyes gathered up the bursts of light playing along his faint smile. 

“Happy New Year,” he said softly. 

Ashe felt a smile twist his mouth. “You're ridiculous,” he said. He leaned forward, his lips nearly against Felix's. “Happy New Year.” 

They kissed as the final furtive fireworks snapped in the sky, splashing their skin in rainbow hues. Ashe could hear cheers from a bar down the street, as well as shouts in a nearby apartment. 

Ashe stroked Felix's hair as he pulled away. “What's your New Year's resolution?” he asked.

Felix snorted at himself. “To get better at this.” 

“It was perfect,” Ashe said, giving him another peck. 

“It's not over,” Felix said. He set his champagne aside. “Come on.” He tugged Ashe up by his hands, back into their apartment where the trail of candles still flickered. 

“We should put those out,” Ashe said. “It's dangerous.”

“We will,” Felix said. “Later.” 

He guided Ashe along, stepping over candles. And then Ashe saw the trail of flower petals on the floor. Violets. 

“They're your favorite,” Felix said when he noticed Ashe looking down, picking carefully between the petals. 

They reached the bedroom, where more flowers littered the carpet and bedspread. Felix pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Ashe's waist, leaning in for a lingering kiss. 

“You're absolutely ridiculous,” Ashe said against his mouth. 

Felix stroked a thumb along Ashe's jaw. “I'm trying.” 

“Don't worry,” Ashe said. “I won't tell anyone how good at it you are.” 

Felix smiled despite himself. He didn't bother protesting, just pulled Ashe to his lips as he stumbled backward onto a violet-covered bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am disgusted with myself.
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/purplebookcover) (18+ please).
> 
> I respond to every comment. Thank you, friends!


End file.
